Last 31 Days!

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S EXACTLY 31 DAYS TO 2018!!!!!!

Whoa if I could press the pause button for a while here..

So, last week my sister shared her Fuse activity in our Line group.

They're discussing 3 points below:

1. What do you learn in 2017 in walking with Jesus?

2. Where is Jesus in your story?

3. What do you plan to do in 2018 in walking with Jesus?

.......such questions.

So before I shared my answer, here's what Febe has written.

1. I've learned to trust God 100%. I declare, "Yes God. I wanna do it."

And this left me in what the world would call "stage of uncertainty" but I believe it is so certain in God's eyes. Because I believe He meant what He did. And His plans are always perfect.

This is the most significant year because I've declared YES to His processes.

2. Although it hurts and it's hard, Jesus's role in my journey : He is my best friend, my strong tower, my source of joy and strength, the only love that I ever needed and the ONLY love that is enough for me.

3. My plan is.. to be even more radical for God. I can see as I took a step deeper in His plans, I got myself 'hard-pressed'. Like an orange on a squeezer.

#proudsistermoment

Yes I've asked her first before I posted, okay wkwk.

She told me, "You once told me.. When you need love the most, that's when you gotta give love the most, right? Right now I need strength the most, so I wanna strengthen first."

Oh man.

...tears. Of joy.

In awe of what God has done in my sister's life. In my family.

There's this one moment when I struggled a lot with something (in my heart. The struggle is always inside, apparently), with puffy eyes I called my sister (and mom. She happened to be there wkwk).

Ïn what felt like the lowest point in my life, Febe told me,

"Don't worry, sist. We are praying for you. You've been the only one praying when there's no one did for this family. And now, every night, in this Family Altar, we pray for you."

...ya tambah nangis lah ya. wkwk.

Anyway.

Back to the THREE QUESTIONS :

1. What do you learn in 2017 in walking with Jesus?

I've learned that there's simply NO FORMULA TO THIS RELATIONSHIP.

My understanding about Him was blown to pieces over and over again. Each time. Every time.

I've learned to let go of my so-called plan. They're nothing compared to His anyway wkwk.

I've learned to loosen my grip to everything that I have hold so dear to me : my wants, my dreams, my pride, my privacy.

The things that I have associated with myself. The things that once shaped me to who I was.

They were shaken and stirred. Till what I have left is.. Him.

While some things were let go, so much more were gained.

While there's no formula to this relationship (or any relationship, if they were authentic, of course), some things remains true and unshakeable : His love for me. His character as a loving Father. A friend that gives His life sacrificially. A Master Planner for those who wanted to gave their life away.

Matthew 16:25 Any of you who try to save the life you have will lose it. But you who give up your life for me will find true life.

I have learned that everything in this world doesn't worth your single attention, unless it's God.

I have learned that sometimes, the way you spell love is not L-O-V-E.

Mostly, love is spelled O-B-E-Y.

2. Where is Jesus in your story?

Well, I think the correct question is : Where am I in Jesus' story?

Hahahahahahaha sok filosofi banget.

But really. He is the beginning. Jesus is the One who asked for my hand, asking me to join Him in His dance. I only responded to Him. To His love. To His pursuit. I only said YES and fixed my eyes on Him so I can watch Him does all the breakthrough, all the miracles, all the endless supply of provisions..

He is the beginning. The One who invites. Who pursues relentlessly till I couldn't say nothing but YES.

He is the sustainer. He holds my hand I walked through the valley of the darkness. My pillar of cloud when I was in a superhot day. My pillar of fire when I was shivering in the cold. He is my joy when the storms were raging. He is the strength within me, when my heart was about to give up hope.

He is the end. Phil 1:6 AMP And I am convinced and sure of this very thing, that He Who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ [right up to the time of His return], developing [that good work] and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you.

3. What do you plan to do in 2018 in walking with Jesus?

My plan? To continue enjoying His loving-kindness till the end of my day. To be still and know that He is Lord of my life. To have a heart surrendered and submitted completely to  His direction. And where His wind blows, I'll go. To obey. No matter what the cost.

So here's to the last 31 days of 2017!

Help me God, to choose You over and over again.

I love You.