it's not a diary. it's a JOURNAL

1. It's always the girl that has to put up with the crying stuff. 2. There's nothing beats mom's hugs when the going gets tough. 3. It's good to have a boy-friend (errr I mean a friend that happens to be a boy. Not.. The other one, okay) that you can trust. You can tell him any kind of things you cannot tell your girl-friends. And when you hurt, somehow this kind of friend would make a joke out of any kind of problem, and I could laugh eventually. In the other hand, talking to girl-friends is tougher sometimes. Especially when everything's still raw and.. difficult. They have this pitying look on their eyes, and I found it's hard NOT to cry harder when they give you this 'I-know-how-it-feels' speeches. 4. The right guy on the wrong time will turn out to be a wrong guy afterall. LOL 5. No matter how many fingers you cross, how many coins you toss in the fountain, how many wishes you make on a star, it it's not meant to be, it won't happen. 6. Hey

I'm sure you've heard this before 'Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus'. It's actually the title of book written by John Gray in 1992. According to this book, the source of many misunderstanding between the two gender is the difference between their communication style and emotional need. One thing I most agree is that women talks about their problems to find friendly allies, just to be heard. However, men talks to get solution for their problem. As a girl, I often find that men are the most insensitive creature on earth. They just don't have a clue about unspeakable needs of girls. Or maybe they just play dumb? LOL Take my dad as a simple case study. He almost never remember anyone's birth day. He even forgotten my mom's birthday, which I found rather unbelievable since it was on Dec 24. I mean, it's ONE day before CHRISTMAS, Dad! He also forgets mine and my sisters, but we've gotten used to it. So on Christmas night, while having our Christ

Last night I was too tired to write EVERYTHING here. Funny how I woke up too early in the morning after *sigh Anyway, I couldn't spoil the juicy detail here since it's too personal LOL But I will.. outline it as best as I could ;) So I was on the verge of giving all up 2 days ago.. I think I was just imagining things. Or so did my friend (which is NOT a girl) say.. But yesterday, 'good thing' happened. I was so so happy beyond words. I just couldn't sit still while waiting for my bus. LOL And later at night, something GREATER happened. Sorry I could not elaborate further :( Maybe later :) Cut the story short, I was delirious last night. My housemates were so sweet, they say they were happy happy happy to see me happy. But they also warned me. For I've known that he wouldn't be here forever. They said, I gotta choose. Being extremely happy now and cry later on. Or keep the distance, so that I wouldn't cry as much as I would in the first case. My housemate

One of my bestfriend (not housemate this time. lol) share this song with me. Never thought that this song could strongly affect my mood. I guess it's because the lyrics was quite.. strong. I love love love the lyrics. I love love love the melody. And I definitely love love love Bruno Mars. MOON doesn't talk back. It doesn't even hear you out, man.. I don't think ppl are THAT stupid, to be talking to the moon???? pfft. silly. Unless... You're in love. And there's nothing more to say.

I was happy that one of my friend said that my blog was quite an inspiration :) I never wrote for 'fame' or to be known. All I wanna do is, well, write something, anything, to express my deepest thought. But if my deepest thought could be useful for others, then maybe I should give seminars or such.. KIDDING. I'm more like a 'behind the scene' person :) Anyway I was rummaging through my earlier posts and found this one.. I'm still in the middle to find the cure. Sometimes I think I've been over the edge. I have passed. But another dream came by. And I realized I haven't been healed. Completely. I think it's the process. Of time. And pray. A lot of prays. Maybe I can cure myself. Or do I need anybody to do it for me? Maybe one day I'll woke up and smile. Because years passed and everything's okay. Maybe one day I'll woke up and smile. Because I've been sleeping on someone else's arms. Ohmy.. I was so emo at that time. Shame on me!

Remember my last blog? This one written in totally different mood with the previous. The exactly opposite mood, in fact. LOL There's something happened today. I cannot say PRECISELY what was it, but let's just say, it was A Big Turn Off for me. It had something to do with broken promises. Or an expectation set too high? You choose. The final outcome is still the same. I blogged about this before, but to jog your memory, lemme say this once again. I don't fall for the looks. Neither for other perceivable qualities a girl dream of. I choose integrity over popularity (see how my introverted side affect me) Recently one of my housemate-slash-bestfriend ask me, what does it mean, really.. Integrity? According to Miriam Webster, INTEGRITY means 1 : firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values : INCORRUPTIBILITY 2 : an unimpaired condition : SOUNDNESS 3 : the quality or state of being complete or undivided : COMPLETENESS YES. If I had to choose one quality from

If you wonder why I blog, here are the reasons : Firstly, it's my way of shouting out loud without being heard. Yes I know it's weird, because normally ppl SHOUT just be HEARD. In my case, I shout just to let go a, let's call it, an excess feeling that so overwhelming it could burst out through my chest anytime soon (like now). I could just SCREAM, but thanks to this big lungs of mine, I could scare my housemates away and wake the baby sleeping in apartment above (if there's any, of course). LOL Secondly, and funnily, it's one essay assignment that always triggers my mood to blog. Maybe it has to do with making a written statement. But I always find words by words flowing from my mind straight to my fingertips like they were no blockage whatsoever. (This time, the blogging era started by a Financial Reporting assignment, which reminds me that I got another essay to right due before Christmas hols. Shucks) Thirdly, I need to be in the state where my heart speak too m

In the short 21 years of my life, I always fascinated with the fairytale of Rapunzel and her legendary long-long-long-long (okay you got the point) hair. Like most of my childhood memories, it is kinda vague, what makes me like it more than Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, and the rest of pretty (Disney) princesses. Maybe it has to do with long hair. I always want a gleaming long blonde hair. Of course due to the fact that I was born ASIAN, the blonde part would be somehow artificially made. Besides, I don't wanna considered stupid or empty headed, you know, with all the fake blonde look. No offense for all the natural (or unnatural) blondes here. LOL Ok back to Rapunzel. I prefer the Disney's Tangled version to the girly girly pink Barbie version because somehow I pictured her (Rapunzel) as: 1. TOUGH She should be tough, see, 18 years held captive in a tower with nobody to talk to other than a frequently visiting witch, and herself, yet she doesn't turn NUTS. Even Di

Aaaaa it's been sooo long I haven't written something, anything, here.. LOL I'm too busy with my life in Jakarta.. No kidding. Okay, the main reason I never went online is because there's no wiFi for my laptop. And the only internet connection is in my library, which is too far from anybody else. So I'm going online with my bb only. (Now I see why it's so damn popular in Indonesia. The bb I mean) Anyway, now I'm sitting in my office. No, I'm not quitting my study, I'm here doing internship. And this is my first time going online with the company's computer. LOL I cannot open Facebooks, or Youtube, or any other fun stuff =_= I'm counting down the remaining day. It's on August 13th. So, here I am.. Blogging. Sorry for no updates in such long time :)

God taught me.. The hard way. Lol He made me see things I didn't OR may be REFUSED to see all this time.. Hmmmm.. I can smell it in the air.. The beginning of something new :)

Still the same dream about you and me. It's like I was watching us from afar, odd. Old movie liked, the pictures blurred here and there. But then I touched the screen, and I could talk to you. I could TALK to you! Say, I've been missing you a lot. Though I hate to admit it. This was the part when I knew I was dreaming. When I touched your face in tears and whisper.. "So sorry. In the end we're going to miss out on each other anyway.." You understood. And that's all I could say to you because then my time's over. I stared at the pictures once more. I saw you held me in your arms. You knew the truth all along.. Did you? Still you say, forever.

I was bored to the bone =_= It's only been 3 days since I've been here. Home. Jakarta, Indonesia. Metropolitan, cosmopolitan city. Blargh. Who am I kidding.. I admit I got a bit cranky these days. I haven't been accustomed to the slower motion of people here. Kinda miss quick paces in Singapore where everything and everyone seems move toward wherever they are going quickly. Okay so now I'm in my mom's office (Indonesian Stock Exchange Building, right opposite Pasific Place Mall) To cut the story short, I've been staring at my bb helplessly. Wtf, I was in 30th story here AND I got no signal?? (see, cranky. LOL) Didn't know what else to do, I plugged my bb to the laptop. Surprised by how many pictures of FOOD I've taken in 2 short months. These are foods I frequently eaten at Singapore. _____________________________________________________ Main Course I love ramen. I lovelovelovelove just love ramen. LOL Tampopo Ramen at 313 on Somerset ( Original Kyushu R