Skip to main content

Home

Just finish unpacking my stuff. There goes Bali trip. Time flies.
Seems like it's just yesterday when we heard about this company trip and that we had to register before the due date.
Now the 3 days is over.
Well. But I'm glad I'm home now :)

It's funny, right?
Things happened.
Just a few days ago everything was nice and safe and so ordinary.
I turned it all around in one night.
It's true, isn't it?
How a few seconds could make a great difference and separate present from the past.

My previous blog? I finally did it.
Something that I've been thinking about now and then.
This battle I thought I never won because I just DON'T WANT to.
Because it's easier to STAY then LEAVE.
It's true, when you fight your battle on your knees, you see amazing things happened.
I don't know how I got the strength and courage to do so.
Somehow, I did it. Talked it all out, though I kept shivering while doing it.

Many times this voice telling me to stop because what I'm about to do is stupid.
And that this was what I need therefore to let go means I'm hurting myself.
Or like, you can do this later because now is not the right time.
But there will be no right time for it, right?

If you think this was easy for me, well.. You couldn't be more wrong. LOL.

You know the kind of feeling when you had a superlong hair for superlong time.
And one day you decided to turn a new page and cut it short.
Then the next day you unconsciously run your hand through your hair and it's not there.
Weird, right?
Yep, that kinda feeling.
Like when I was suddenly 'appointed' to be a tour guide in charged of 20 persons and I wanna tell you and said WHAT A DAY but I couldn't.
Or when I saw the clock and see it's past midnite and wondering if you stayed back working.
You keep seeping through my mind. From time to time.

The last thing I wanna do is hurt ppl. Let alone those I love.
But that's the thing in life.
You couldn't always get what you want because human tends to be greedy and keep taking things for granted, aren't we?

I admit it's not the best kind of goodbye.
But if this is the kind of process we need to go through to grow,
well, I'll take this highway.
You know we need to grow up, right?
Even if we grow up separately. Haha.

Okay I'm sleepy and tired and these eyes are just puffy. LOL.

Here's a song that keeps me on walking even when I feel like lying down and stop.
It reminds me that before I love, I was first loved.
I AM loved.
Therefore, I have hope. That everything will be alright.



Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith could be made stronger
In the presence of my Saviour


Good night, Beloved :)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My Miracle

So this weekend, my mom and Febe was in town. In fact, I've just sent them off a few hours ago. WOW! Wow God wow! That's all I can say.. I'm loving every second I spent with the two. Good food, good times. But above them all, good talk. The best kind of talk where God is so evident, so powerful, so ever-present, in everything that we said. Sometimes we tend to talk about God's miracle like it was so far away, so abstract, when actually it is right there in front of us. So tangible, we can grasp it with our hands. For example, when Febe mentioned about Dad and the accident and his sickness. We can see how God allowed his pride to be crushed. And out of a new-found humility, God shaped His character : more Christ, less of himself. I knew who my dad was, and I know who he is now. And all I can see is miracle written all over him. Through the worst the world can assume, God brings in His best for our good. Not to mentioned how God put a heart o...
Post a Comment
Read more

When God Made a Promise

“I know this is too fast. And please don’t ask me why, because I don’t have the answer. I don’t know why.” “I won’t ask you why. Because I know.. It’s God.”   Wkwkwkwkwwkwkwkwkww duh supershy padahal biasanya ga tau malu. I’m still getting used to this. But those who viewed our IG feed and saw the pic posted in FB would know what this is all about. The Promise of God. It’s been there, mentioned the wholeee time in my earlier posts, yet unnamed. I’ll try to recall the whole story. Some details would be lost in translation because there are wayyyy TOO MANY. Haha. Fyi. I’VE BEEN WAITING SOOO LOOOONG TO SHOUT THIS OUT LOUD. So, here goes. Last Sunday, R asked me out to dinner. A few days before, he’s mentioned this fancy place and I calmly (I think) said, “Yes, yes why not” while inside I was [insert screaming emoji here] knowing that this is not a normal dining experience. OMG. I was so glad it’s through a text message, otherwise he would see ...
4 comments
Read more

The Boy Who Showed Me My WHY

So last week, the entire school left Redding for ministry trip around the States. I went to Phoenix for 8 days and came home to school with tons of testimonies of healing, people set free, delivered, and experiencing the love of the Father in the most tangible way. But here’s my personal take on the trip to Phoenix, AZ. I met a boy and this divine appointment marked my life forever. I told God (and my team mates), if the reason of my entire trip, all the whirlwind of fund raising and preparations, was just for this one moment with this boy, I would do it all over again.  So on an evening, I was told that I would go to minister to kids in a home church the next day. (On prerequisite of being in the trip with Bethel people is a heart that is always ready with a smiley YES to whatever comes next. HAHAH. So many last minute change, you could be blindsided by the suddenness of if. Or you can take it as an invitation to lean on the Holy Spirit leading. It’s nerve-wrecking for a bit, but ...
4 comments
Read more