Skip to main content

Home

Just finish unpacking my stuff. There goes Bali trip. Time flies.
Seems like it's just yesterday when we heard about this company trip and that we had to register before the due date.
Now the 3 days is over.
Well. But I'm glad I'm home now :)

It's funny, right?
Things happened.
Just a few days ago everything was nice and safe and so ordinary.
I turned it all around in one night.
It's true, isn't it?
How a few seconds could make a great difference and separate present from the past.

My previous blog? I finally did it.
Something that I've been thinking about now and then.
This battle I thought I never won because I just DON'T WANT to.
Because it's easier to STAY then LEAVE.
It's true, when you fight your battle on your knees, you see amazing things happened.
I don't know how I got the strength and courage to do so.
Somehow, I did it. Talked it all out, though I kept shivering while doing it.

Many times this voice telling me to stop because what I'm about to do is stupid.
And that this was what I need therefore to let go means I'm hurting myself.
Or like, you can do this later because now is not the right time.
But there will be no right time for it, right?

If you think this was easy for me, well.. You couldn't be more wrong. LOL.

You know the kind of feeling when you had a superlong hair for superlong time.
And one day you decided to turn a new page and cut it short.
Then the next day you unconsciously run your hand through your hair and it's not there.
Weird, right?
Yep, that kinda feeling.
Like when I was suddenly 'appointed' to be a tour guide in charged of 20 persons and I wanna tell you and said WHAT A DAY but I couldn't.
Or when I saw the clock and see it's past midnite and wondering if you stayed back working.
You keep seeping through my mind. From time to time.

The last thing I wanna do is hurt ppl. Let alone those I love.
But that's the thing in life.
You couldn't always get what you want because human tends to be greedy and keep taking things for granted, aren't we?

I admit it's not the best kind of goodbye.
But if this is the kind of process we need to go through to grow,
well, I'll take this highway.
You know we need to grow up, right?
Even if we grow up separately. Haha.

Okay I'm sleepy and tired and these eyes are just puffy. LOL.

Here's a song that keeps me on walking even when I feel like lying down and stop.
It reminds me that before I love, I was first loved.
I AM loved.
Therefore, I have hope. That everything will be alright.



Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith could be made stronger
In the presence of my Saviour


Good night, Beloved :)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

When God Made a Promise

“I know this is too fast. And please don’t ask me why, because I don’t have the answer. I don’t know why.” “I won’t ask you why. Because I know.. It’s God.”   Wkwkwkwkwwkwkwkwkww duh supershy padahal biasanya ga tau malu. I’m still getting used to this. But those who viewed our IG feed and saw the pic posted in FB would know what this is all about. The Promise of God. It’s been there, mentioned the wholeee time in my earlier posts, yet unnamed. I’ll try to recall the whole story. Some details would be lost in translation because there are wayyyy TOO MANY. Haha. Fyi. I’VE BEEN WAITING SOOO LOOOONG TO SHOUT THIS OUT LOUD. So, here goes. Last Sunday, R asked me out to dinner. A few days before, he’s mentioned this fancy place and I calmly (I think) said, “Yes, yes why not” while inside I was [insert screaming emoji here] knowing that this is not a normal dining experience. OMG. I was so glad it’s through a text message, otherwise he would see ...
4 comments
Read more

Thirty Three Is The New Three

“God’s reward growth with pruning. More growth.” I stumbled across a worship moment on YouTube and the word spoken by Michael Miller breathe fresh air into my soul. “Pruning seasons are strange. You get disoriented. You think, “What did I do wrong?” Nothing. My shears are the reward of fruitfulness. You’re being positioned for greater fruitfulness.” Sometimes I forgot that the One who wants to see all of His promises fulfilled in my life more than myself is the Promiser Himself. And in the in-between seasons, He’s still the sweetest reward. A few days ago I woke up with a DM on my Instagram. A friend stumbled across my profile, clicked on my blog and she told me she started crying because God revealed many heart issues she’s not even aware of. I am in awe of what God’s doing behind the scene. The last post was, so far, the hardest writing in my life. I wrote it down while it’s still fresh in my heart, the disappointment, the struggle, the embrace. But today, I wrote from a totally diff...
Post a Comment
Read more

Season of Love

Yellow! Long time no write :P So.. My favorite month just over :(:( Nevermind. Because the best MONTH of the year is coming in another 29 days! Woohoooo! They say December is the season of love. But I'll say.. Well. Maybe I just tell you a story of 2 different people. WARNING . Stories might contain some fiction or non fiction, even a bit of mixed curcol. Okeh. Cerita pertama is about this guy. Udah bertaun-taun dia menjomblo. Mencari tulang rusuk yang rasanya ga ketemu2. Beberapa usaha pedekate sudah dilancarkan ke beberapa sasaran di waktu yang mungkin bersamaan, mungkin pula berbeda. Tapi entah kenapa. It seems smua ikan di laut itu udah nempel di pancingan penjala2 ikan mereka. Mungkin dia butuh lebih daripada sekedar pancing. Mungkin dia butuh jala. Or granat. At least beberapa ikan will come out alive. Even if terumbu2 karang jd korban. Oh well. It seems there's no hope. Jadi dia memutuskan untuk berhenti. Menyerah. Sto...
Post a Comment
Read more