Skip to main content

I Used to be Love Drunk

Nahh.. I'm not gonna bragging about love drunk or such.
That's the song I'm listening while studying now. LOL. I'm such a multitasker.

Ever heard a quotation about love that inspired you so much you can be a poet over night?
I think it's true. I've been there. Trust me, I know.
When the love I felt was so, so, so overwhelming almost physically.
Yes, I think love's one hell of emotion that can make human do brave, crazy, stupid stuff.
Love is good. Indeed. But love also destructive.
(See Helen of Troy. Stupid Paris, what was he thinking?? Lust maybe. Not love. Whatever. I wasn't there)

Anyhow, after some deep thinking, I can also add one more strong emotion that motivate human to do braver, crazier, stupid-er stuff than love do.
It is hurt, i think. A bruise on your heart. That can be healed over time, or not.
At least, that was the thing that inspired me more than falling head over heels in love.
See the evidence below.

so what.
if u can put your finger exactly where it aches and hurts so bad?
You cannot fix me anyway.

so what.
if your song sings to me?
It’s still not mine anyway.

so what.
if every now and then i’m wasting my time thinking bout you?
You could've care less anyway.

so what.
If i wish this could be our world?
Coz I am who i am. But you..
now you're a stranger to me.


and this


Once I was here all by myself
barely nothing to hold onto,
but memories of smiles and silliness
that turned out to be nightmares every time I fell asleep

Once I was standing here alone
staring vaguely into the darkness I called future
to the eternity that turned out to be an obscurity
thinking, when will those shadows gone
or is there any tears left to fall upon those pillows.

Once I was afraid to wake up in the morning
Coz I couldn’t get the point in doing things I gotta do every day.
Why should I open my eyes?
When I could never see his face every day.
Why should I catch a breath?
When he is no longer the air I breathe.
Why should I feel the sunshine upon my skin?
When I cannot feel his presence around me anymore.
Why should I listening to the- so-called-music?
When all I want to listen to is your voice call my name.
Why should I smile?
When all I want to do is break down and cry.
Why should I keep my heart beating?
When you’ve taken every part of it and scattered it to the ground.

Tell me, why should I?
And I’ll give my heart to you.


Wow. Back then, I used to be love drunk. Now I am hangover. LOL

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

When God Made a Promise

“I know this is too fast. And please don’t ask me why, because I don’t have the answer. I don’t know why.” “I won’t ask you why. Because I know.. It’s God.”   Wkwkwkwkwwkwkwkwkww duh supershy padahal biasanya ga tau malu. I’m still getting used to this. But those who viewed our IG feed and saw the pic posted in FB would know what this is all about. The Promise of God. It’s been there, mentioned the wholeee time in my earlier posts, yet unnamed. I’ll try to recall the whole story. Some details would be lost in translation because there are wayyyy TOO MANY. Haha. Fyi. I’VE BEEN WAITING SOOO LOOOONG TO SHOUT THIS OUT LOUD. So, here goes. Last Sunday, R asked me out to dinner. A few days before, he’s mentioned this fancy place and I calmly (I think) said, “Yes, yes why not” while inside I was [insert screaming emoji here] knowing that this is not a normal dining experience. OMG. I was so glad it’s through a text message, otherwise he would see ...
4 comments
Read more

My Miracle

So this weekend, my mom and Febe was in town. In fact, I've just sent them off a few hours ago. WOW! Wow God wow! That's all I can say.. I'm loving every second I spent with the two. Good food, good times. But above them all, good talk. The best kind of talk where God is so evident, so powerful, so ever-present, in everything that we said. Sometimes we tend to talk about God's miracle like it was so far away, so abstract, when actually it is right there in front of us. So tangible, we can grasp it with our hands. For example, when Febe mentioned about Dad and the accident and his sickness. We can see how God allowed his pride to be crushed. And out of a new-found humility, God shaped His character : more Christ, less of himself. I knew who my dad was, and I know who he is now. And all I can see is miracle written all over him. Through the worst the world can assume, God brings in His best for our good. Not to mentioned how God put a heart o...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Boy Who Showed Me My WHY

So last week, the entire school left Redding for ministry trip around the States. I went to Phoenix for 8 days and came home to school with tons of testimonies of healing, people set free, delivered, and experiencing the love of the Father in the most tangible way. But here’s my personal take on the trip to Phoenix, AZ. I met a boy and this divine appointment marked my life forever. I told God (and my team mates), if the reason of my entire trip, all the whirlwind of fund raising and preparations, was just for this one moment with this boy, I would do it all over again.  So on an evening, I was told that I would go to minister to kids in a home church the next day. (On prerequisite of being in the trip with Bethel people is a heart that is always ready with a smiley YES to whatever comes next. HAHAH. So many last minute change, you could be blindsided by the suddenness of if. Or you can take it as an invitation to lean on the Holy Spirit leading. It’s nerve-wrecking for a bit, but ...
4 comments
Read more