No Longer My War

"So let go, my soul, and trust in Him..

The waves and wind still know His name"

ON REPEAT RIGHT NOW lol.

This week was such a roller coaster ride hahaha.

And in every ups and downs, God is always present. So tangible!

Yesterday I reread some of my blog entries, and found myself encouraged by what I've written myself lol. It's like some kind of spiritual map: the point where everything started compared to where I am standing right now. So much grace! So much love :')

And before the hectic holiday tomorrow, I have to write everything down before the details forgotten.

Yesterday during TLG service, my cici yang suka komen2 di blog eke hello! shared something about walking habitually with God. It's our choice to synchronize our hearts with Him from time to time. And one of the verse she quoted yesterday was Amos 3. I think nobody really jot this verse down, it's only mentioned once followed by the free dancing lesson lol ci! Best!

But at the moment this verse mentioned, my heart leaped haha.

Amos. Come on, how many of us heard anything from this book eh? In a sermon once or twice a year maybe? My heart leaped because this was one of the verse revealed when He sharpened my calling recently.

So before the Sunday sermon began, I texted ci Gil.

"Did you quote Amos 3 ytd?" 

"Yes."

Eyes wide opened. Speak, God. I'm listening.

And WOW! Confirmation upon confirmation was out in the open in that short 1 hour plus..

WOW GOD WOW!

Ok so, I'll try to write everything's down according to the timeline of the event :

Isaiah 54 : 2 Enlarge your tent!

This verse was 'bestowed' to me 2 years ago. The Praptanas prayed for a special verse for each and every member of West Coast Mentorship (WCM). Ci Gil the calligrapher then written down the verse beautifully on a framed canvas. "ENLARGE YOUR TENT". Today the pastor mentioned that this verse actually talks about the enlargement of our FAITH. We are called to be His vessel. The more you are willing to say yes, the more His calling will be made 'real'. Wow God.

The preacher mentioned, life is most meaningful when you are in the center of God's will. That means you gotta live in His PURPOSE.

Which brought me to another WCM Christmas gift. Last year The Praptanas prayed for a specific word for each members. And guess what I got? Yes. PURPOSE. 

(Both presents are kept in my room in case you're wondering. You can see it, you can touch it, but no you can't take them home haha)

The third one was about King Jehoshaphat who's under the attack of Moabites, Ammonites and Meunites (nyontek 2 Chronicles 20 wkaka)

V17 - You will not have to fight this battle. Just stand there and watch the Lord save you.

"When God has given you a promise, it is NO LONGER YOUR WAR. That is God's war. He will fight your battle simply because He loves you that much. When God gave His promise to the Israelites, He'll make sure it is a done deal. Not because the Israelites has done their part. Not at all. But because when God promised, IT IS DONE."

Really. No one knows the depth of one's heart better than the One who created it.

It's all over my blog since the beginning of the year. The promise of God. LOL.

I once thought that when God fulfill His promise, it would look like a superbig mystery door slammed open in front of you. But no hahaha. For me, it's more like taking a train ride in a very looooooooong tunnel. Sometimes there's a part where your platform passed through an open space where the sun shines through the window : everything's brighten up just like that. But then in a split second, when your platform passed through another tunnel, the lights dimmed and you're in the dark.

I asked God. Why? I thought once the door opens means it is open once and for all? Why the light is so momentary?

He said, "So you learn how to cling onto me." LOL. You know me too well, Father hahaaha.

Well, if everything were so easy, I would eventually rushed myself in through the 'open door' and took matter into my own hand and I might end up taking the whole credit for my 'hardwork' haha.

So yeah. Right now.. From time to time, before my heart could take matter into its own hand (lol), God reminded me that He's the one who started all this. He'll be the One who finished everything. So I will wait on God and His promises.

Next! Fear was mentioned in the sermon as well. King Jehoshaphat was pretty shaken up (iyalah) it is written in V3 "Jehoshaphat became afraid" which was a decent reaction from a human being considering the surrounding at that point of time. Someone once ask : is fear wrong?

I imagine a kid version of  myself, sleeping. When suddenly a thunderstorm breaks and wakes me up in the middle of the night. I guess my parents would welcome me with arms wide open if I sneak in to their room to find comfort hahahah.

As mentioned today, the fear itself is a normal reaction. But what set him apart was his reaction towards that fear! Instead of taking matter into his own hand, planning battle strategy and picking soldiers, he chose to bow down and praise God! Guess where Jehoshaphat ran when he 'became afraid'? Yes! It was to the Father's presence!!!

Last week, a dear friend of mine ask me, "What is the meaning of TO LOVE FEARLESSLY?"

I remember telling her, "I think it's when you freely love, like give all that you can give in abundance, without require anything in return of that love. Freely and securely love without the fear of rejection."

Basically, I gotta practice what I've preached recently BECAUSE to love fearlessly is not easy.

I gotta say, it is scary when God opens up a part of your heart you never knew was there, and ask you to surrender THAT part to Him. Fully. 

Well, God, you know me best. So I will ask You to take the lead.

And I will follow :')

Last but not least! When Ezekiel 37 mentioned, I got goosebumps.

Gila deh Tuhan. I understand now, when He rebuked the wind and waves, "Quiet! Be still!

The wind died down and it was COMPLETELY calm. 

My heart was a mess. A chaos asking for attention. And there You come and quiet the storm in me.

And now it was completely calm.

Through it all, through it all

My eyes are on You

Through it all, through it all

It is well

Through it all, through it all

My eyes are on You

And it is well

It is well

So let go my soul and trust in Him

The waves and wind still know His name

It is well with my soul.