Yellow hellooo :)
What a weekend!
Banyak banget kejadian.
Just wanna share a little bit yang baru aja gw alamin wkkwkwk.
Click below for a background song.
(Lagunya sweet banget btw ;''))
I've shared this in yesterday's FA.
I think sebelomnya gw pernah mention kalo gw itu susah banget dalam memberi.
Dan I understand that the main problem that I need to deal with is that I did not trust Him enough when it comes to financial matters. Like I wanna play 'boss' when it comes to what I have 'earned' when the truth is, I am just a steward and God is the master who trusted some of His stuff to be managed by me.
Cut the story short, I have learned this the hard way.
I've struggled a lot. Condemned whenever I disobeyed and felt that I have disappointed Him.
But God is a faithful. Dia sabarrrr banget sama gw.
Singkat cerita, there's a prompting in my heart (siapa lagi kl bukan Holy Spirit) yang membuat gw bisa bilang 'THAT'S IT. I'M DONE. HELP ME TO OBEY, GOD.'
I was just so tired of my own disobedience that hinders me to be, well, FREE.
I wanna freely open up my heart to God so He can do whatever He wanna do.
I wanna boldly come to His throne of Grace knowing that nothing, NOTHING, is hidden from Him.
31 Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. 32 And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
John 8 : 31-32 NLT
Gw baru mengerti makna dari semua ini (#tsahh). I mean.
There is power in His Words. The thing is, if we never LIVE IN THE TRUTH which is doing His Words, kita ga akan pernah ngalamin HOW LIFE-CHANGINGLY POWERFUL it is.
Gw yakin banget yak, gw sendiri ga akan bisa kuat, I would never be strong enough to obey.
But I was not alone.
I was backed by the strongest supernatural power in the entire universe EVER :
the Holy Spirit.
Beberapa minggu berlalu.
And. God took me to the next level of obedience hahah.
Jadi ceritanya gw bentar lagi turun bonus. (Anak FA lgs minta traktir wkwk well).
Dan pas gw liat2 Carousel, eh ada yg bagus2 hahah.
Tapi ya.. Di dalam hati gw ada rasa2 yg berbeda.
Kaya agak ganjel.
Beneran deh.
Ga boong. Ganjelnya kaya.. Ganjel dah.
Even pas menara doa Rabu, ganjelnya tingkat parah.
Honestly speaking, I KNOW that this means 'ALERT'.
Ada yang musti gw beresin. Hahah.
So I asked Him.
'It's the bag, is it?'
Well. Susah dijelasinnya. Tapi gw taulah.. Tuhan ga mau gw beli tas itu. Or any bag at this moment.
OH MAN.
Gw struggle for a few days.
In my spirit, I know that I gotta do what the Spirit leads me to.
The thing is, GW GA MAU! Daging gw sih super lemah (nyalahin daging wkwkwk).
Otak gw berpikir.
EMANG SALAH?
Ya ga.
Emang ga salah kan? I can. And I want. I won't do people any harm? I don't commit sin right? Kaya adanya kan 'jangan membunuh, jangan berzinah.'
Emang ada : 'jangan beli tas dengan bonusmu.'
Gw jg ga ada komitmen lain, as in gw ga musti pay back anyone. I can do anything I want with whatever I have.
Or can't I?
For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.
Hebrews 4 : 12 NLT
Waktu gw siapin share buat FA Jumat, ga sekalipun gw berpikir mau share struggle 'ga penting' gw ini.
Ya apa pula banget ga sih? Orang mah share kaya kerjaan, sekolah, kondisi2 lain, nah.. Masa gw ngmgin 'eh pengen beli tas tapi..'
But you see, the thing is not about how small or trivial our desire is.
It's about our obedience to God. And that is what we are striving for, aren't we?
Jadi gw share lah. I told them people honestly.
I told them how my mind actually worked against the Spirit within me.
My mind kept telling me that, 'No. You are not wrong. That's YOURS. You EARNED it.'
But the Spirit inside of me clearly said, 'Would you just obey?'
And with no reason some more. Hadehh, Emang ya.. Obedience sama Tuhan itu gausa lah nanya2 WHY LORD WHY. Just do it. Ntar kalo tanya WHY WHY ujung2nya jd disbelief krn seringkali our minds are just too small and too limited to comprehend apa kehendak Tuhan.
See, gw selalu berdoa 'God, lead me to the place you want me to go. I will follow.'
Nah, gimana mau follow disuruh bgitu? Baru hal kecil aja udah mempertanyakan 5W 1H.
Gimana kalo, 'Kezia, pergilah ke Zimbabwe'. Ya kali.
Ok lah.
Singkat cerita. I just wanna obey. Titik. And I know I'm not strong enough sama temptation.
So this morning I deleted off Carousel from my phone. Bye Carousel, BYE!
Sip. Kelar.
And you know what?
Pas doa jam 4.. Rasanya hati gw kaya PLONG banget.
Overflow sama joy, sama gratitude, and I can feel His love overflows, gw cuman bisa meler2 di hadirat Tuhan. AMAZING GOD!
15 Well then, since God’s grace has set us free from the law, does that mean we can go on sinning? Of course not! 16 Don’t you realize that you become the slave of whatever you choose to obey? You can be a slave to sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God, which leads to righteous living. 17 Thank God! Once you were slaves of sin, but now you wholeheartedly obey this teaching we have given you. 18 Now you are free from your slavery to sin, and you have become slaves to righteous living.
Romans 6 : 15-18
Wow. Wherever the Spirit of the Lord is there is Freedom!
The sweetest love of all :') God you are just too good to be true!
Good night, Blessed People!
Don't forget to say YES to His process ;)
You. Are. Loved!
What a weekend!
Banyak banget kejadian.
Just wanna share a little bit yang baru aja gw alamin wkkwkwk.
Click below for a background song.
(Lagunya sweet banget btw ;''))
I've shared this in yesterday's FA.
I think sebelomnya gw pernah mention kalo gw itu susah banget dalam memberi.
Dan I understand that the main problem that I need to deal with is that I did not trust Him enough when it comes to financial matters. Like I wanna play 'boss' when it comes to what I have 'earned' when the truth is, I am just a steward and God is the master who trusted some of His stuff to be managed by me.
Cut the story short, I have learned this the hard way.
I've struggled a lot. Condemned whenever I disobeyed and felt that I have disappointed Him.
But God is a faithful. Dia sabarrrr banget sama gw.
Singkat cerita, there's a prompting in my heart (siapa lagi kl bukan Holy Spirit) yang membuat gw bisa bilang 'THAT'S IT. I'M DONE. HELP ME TO OBEY, GOD.'
I was just so tired of my own disobedience that hinders me to be, well, FREE.
I wanna freely open up my heart to God so He can do whatever He wanna do.
I wanna boldly come to His throne of Grace knowing that nothing, NOTHING, is hidden from Him.
31 Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. 32 And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
John 8 : 31-32 NLT
Gw baru mengerti makna dari semua ini (#tsahh). I mean.
There is power in His Words. The thing is, if we never LIVE IN THE TRUTH which is doing His Words, kita ga akan pernah ngalamin HOW LIFE-CHANGINGLY POWERFUL it is.
Gw yakin banget yak, gw sendiri ga akan bisa kuat, I would never be strong enough to obey.
But I was not alone.
I was backed by the strongest supernatural power in the entire universe EVER :
the Holy Spirit.
Beberapa minggu berlalu.
And. God took me to the next level of obedience hahah.
Jadi ceritanya gw bentar lagi turun bonus. (Anak FA lgs minta traktir wkwk well).
Dan pas gw liat2 Carousel, eh ada yg bagus2 hahah.
Tapi ya.. Di dalam hati gw ada rasa2 yg berbeda.
Kaya agak ganjel.
Beneran deh.
Ga boong. Ganjelnya kaya.. Ganjel dah.
Even pas menara doa Rabu, ganjelnya tingkat parah.
Honestly speaking, I KNOW that this means 'ALERT'.
Ada yang musti gw beresin. Hahah.
So I asked Him.
'It's the bag, is it?'
Well. Susah dijelasinnya. Tapi gw taulah.. Tuhan ga mau gw beli tas itu. Or any bag at this moment.
OH MAN.
Gw struggle for a few days.
In my spirit, I know that I gotta do what the Spirit leads me to.
The thing is, GW GA MAU! Daging gw sih super lemah (nyalahin daging wkwkwk).
Otak gw berpikir.
EMANG SALAH?
Ya ga.
Emang ga salah kan? I can. And I want. I won't do people any harm? I don't commit sin right? Kaya adanya kan 'jangan membunuh, jangan berzinah.'
Emang ada : 'jangan beli tas dengan bonusmu.'
Gw jg ga ada komitmen lain, as in gw ga musti pay back anyone. I can do anything I want with whatever I have.
Or can't I?
For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.
Hebrews 4 : 12 NLT
Waktu gw siapin share buat FA Jumat, ga sekalipun gw berpikir mau share struggle 'ga penting' gw ini.
Ya apa pula banget ga sih? Orang mah share kaya kerjaan, sekolah, kondisi2 lain, nah.. Masa gw ngmgin 'eh pengen beli tas tapi..'
But you see, the thing is not about how small or trivial our desire is.
It's about our obedience to God. And that is what we are striving for, aren't we?
Jadi gw share lah. I told them people honestly.
I told them how my mind actually worked against the Spirit within me.
My mind kept telling me that, 'No. You are not wrong. That's YOURS. You EARNED it.'
But the Spirit inside of me clearly said, 'Would you just obey?'
And with no reason some more. Hadehh, Emang ya.. Obedience sama Tuhan itu gausa lah nanya2 WHY LORD WHY. Just do it. Ntar kalo tanya WHY WHY ujung2nya jd disbelief krn seringkali our minds are just too small and too limited to comprehend apa kehendak Tuhan.
See, gw selalu berdoa 'God, lead me to the place you want me to go. I will follow.'
Nah, gimana mau follow disuruh bgitu? Baru hal kecil aja udah mempertanyakan 5W 1H.
Gimana kalo, 'Kezia, pergilah ke Zimbabwe'. Ya kali.
Ok lah.
Singkat cerita. I just wanna obey. Titik. And I know I'm not strong enough sama temptation.
So this morning I deleted off Carousel from my phone. Bye Carousel, BYE!
Sip. Kelar.
And you know what?
Pas doa jam 4.. Rasanya hati gw kaya PLONG banget.
Overflow sama joy, sama gratitude, and I can feel His love overflows, gw cuman bisa meler2 di hadirat Tuhan. AMAZING GOD!
15 Well then, since God’s grace has set us free from the law, does that mean we can go on sinning? Of course not! 16 Don’t you realize that you become the slave of whatever you choose to obey? You can be a slave to sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God, which leads to righteous living. 17 Thank God! Once you were slaves of sin, but now you wholeheartedly obey this teaching we have given you. 18 Now you are free from your slavery to sin, and you have become slaves to righteous living.
Romans 6 : 15-18
Wow. Wherever the Spirit of the Lord is there is Freedom!
The sweetest love of all :') God you are just too good to be true!
Good night, Blessed People!
Don't forget to say YES to His process ;)
You. Are. Loved!
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