Dirty Little Secrets

Okay. Washing clothes at 1.30AM might not be such a good idea.

But while the machine turns, I might as well blog something. LOL.

Today is Vesak Day. Which means, I could wake up as late as I wanted.

Hurrayyyyyyy!!!

And yes, I wake up soo late I'm too shy to let you know how late it was. Hahaha.

Anyway I had a fruitful yet relaxing day.

Went around town looking for.. stuff.

Then chilling (lol) at Starbucks with my dearest roommate.

Finally close the perfect day by watching Fast and Furious 6, or 'Furious 6' (which I know for sure will followed by 'Furious 7') with The Royals.

It's quite entertaining.

With lots of car stunts, fist and gun fighting scenes and big big guys throwing their body around lol lol. Anyway, some actions were just.. Humanly impossible and a bit exaggeratingly 'lebay' lol

What I never expected was that I got to hear this wise words come out from the mouth of a wiser lady.

'Great guy. Great girl. But if God doesn't say so, they won't be so great for each other'

Well. It was in Bahasa. But I think it's more poetic when I translate, isn't it? LOL.

Okay. Backtrack a bit.

Haven't I mentioned that I was going to share something about 'Dirty Little Secret'?

So here goes.

I'm 100% sure that everybody has AT LEAST one dirty little secret which they kept by themselves.

I sure does.

If you're asking what kind of secret.

Okay.

Maybe like this one time, I was sleepily brushing my teeth and knocked off my sister's tooth brush to the toilet bow.

Then I easily fished it out from.. there.

Wash it under running water a few sec. And placed it happily back to its glass.

And I never tell my sister about it. Huahaha I'm so bad.

In my defense, I was sleepy and it happened so fast it's like never happened. LOL.

Ok lah. Not that kind of secret.

(Although that one is quite a dirty, little, secret)

The kind of secret that might be happened to you in the past.

Or still happening to you.

Things that you don't want other people to know because you're afraid they will hate/avoid/pity/judge you.

It could be many things.

Your past. Your economic condition. Your family. Your bad habits. Your sickness. Your disability.

Anything that you feel makes you less humane, less valuable, less worthy of love.

Maybe you secretly blame yourself for everything happened.

Maybe you blame others.

Outside, you look as normal and happy as others. But inside you feel that something was incomplete.

Then you're trying to fix it, compensate whatever you are lacking.

Sometimes you succeed. But most times, you don't.

I once like that.

A few months back, I was sharing a cab with this one friend.

I couldn't remember what we're talking about but it happened that she's mentioning about her family.

Then I shared things about mine, too.

Some knows, that I came from a far-from-perfect family.

I mean every family has flaws.

(You can come see me and ask me yourself, and I will let you know in person)

After that, she told me that she was amazed.

Yeah well. Seeing me all bouncy and talkative.

But as mentioned before, everything happened under the surface.

You wouldn't know what one's going through because, well, it's their dirty little secret.

You know what I told my friend?

I told her that I was amazed myself.

Amazed by how much Jesus loves can change one's future.

I mean, I don't know how I could end up without Him.

Maybe I will be one emo, dark, gloomy, sarcastic lady.

LOL.

What? I'm sometimes emo, yes. Sarcastic? Humorously so.

But the thing is, I know that I have a bright bright future ahead when I walk with Him.

I know that every single bad things has been turned into good and strengthening lessons in His hands.

I have hope.

And my hope comes from this One person who loves me unconditionally.

Not because of who I am, not because of what I've done, not because of how much I love Him.

Simply because who He is.

I told her that there is no need to be ashamed.

That every challenges will proven to toughen us up.

Don't let it be a hindrance that tie you up to a point where you can't move forward.

Don't let it be anchor that keep you down under the water.

(Well.. I don't say those exact words. More or less like that LOL)

Well I told her that we are special.

Because not everybody went to live through such tough days.

Instead of burden, it should be considered our advantage.

I mean, we'll be tougher, we'll be wiser, and most definitely we'll learn from ours and other's mistakes.

I told her that it shouldn't be our 'dirty little secret'.

It should be a testimony that changed other's life as well.

Because aren't the best testimonies come from first-hand experiences?

And the other stuff.
Those wise words said my the wiser lady? LOL.

Well, it's been, what? 3 months?

I miss this one particular person.

He kept popping in to my mind like a chocolate ball on candy crush (level 191, FYI, bragging, sorry)

Yap. Like I said.

I keep wondering how he is. What he's doing. How's work going on.

And when exciting stuff come out, like some news about a friend (ok lah. gossip. there),
I wanna tell him instantly.

Because that's what we do.

We're gossiping. LOL. And talking about unimportant stuff which now feels important because I couldn't tell him anyway. LOL.

That's why when I heard those words, I feel like a sad puppy patted on the head by her Master.

'There, there, I know you're sad. But don't you know I write beautiful love stories?'

Yes, He does.

He writes a GREAT one.
Therefore, I will submit and obey.