Goodbye

Yes, today I'd like to share a bit of my opinion on this one word that most people dislikes.

"Goodbye"

On my way to the Church today, I was informed that my poodle has just passed away.

Well, she's been around 13 years anyway. A long, healthy life, for a dog.

She watched me going to school and back since I was in elementary.

Goodbye Ciki. Thanks for letting us hug you whenever we want.

You'll be missed, little one.

I also notice that these days, I keep seeing people going back for good.

Some went back to their hometown, others going abroad someplace else.

Some pursuing further studies, others looking for a job, or a better one.

Well, I imagine many other reasons.

You might be going because you decided it is for a greater good, like chasing your dream of a better future, better education, better environment, better chance to be with your loved one/s.

You might be forced to go.

Maybe by your parents, by the situation that cannot be borne in the long term.

Either way, you still go and leave things and people and places behind.

For me, being in a new place is quite unpleasant.

Worse, if you were alone and knew no one.

The unknown places, unfamiliar faces. For a (hidden) introverted, it takes some time to adjust yourself with all the new things.

I will smile and being polite and THAT is excruciatingly hard.

It takes strong willpower to keep that smile pasted on your face when actually you are clueless about almost anything.

But that was so long ago. I mean, me being in a new place. LOL.

Actually, what makes it harder to leave, is not only the matter of adapting.

There are also a good old place with friendly faces which you left behind.

And while you're trying to absorb your new surroundings, you keep missing your old ones.

That's why, looking back, I know that I was blessed. And loved.

And that whenever I go, I am safe :)

Okayyy.. I was sidetracked. LOL. Back to goodbyes.

I have been experiencing some 'goodbyes' first handed myself.

Therefore I can tell you that the feeling involved in each and everyone of them
was never the same.

Well.. I think, leaving (or left by) a friend of family members is easier than that to a.. well. Hmm. Significant other. LOL.

Why? This is why..

When you parted from your friend, let say, best-friend, sure, you'll be sad.

You're sad because you know that things change and that you will miss your best-friend.

You might, or might not cry.

Depends on the depth of your relationship, of course.

You might cry on the spot where you waved goodbye,
or you might cry later when you're alone in your room and nobody's looking.

But after a heavy sigh or a couple bucket of tears (LOL), you'll be okay.

Sure you still going to miss your him/her from time to time.

Like when you're eating your favorite food and thinking if she were here,
she will eat the egg yolk only. Haha.

That's it.

You won't over-cry because honestly, you'll still be friends.

Yes, it won't be the same as in you cannot report your day-to-day activities anymore,
but you still can contact him/her and share a good gossip anyway.

It's like you are physically apart, but you know they you're still be friend at heart.

On the other hand, talking about parting with your hmm particular one..

Take one example : the crying part.

You CRY for sure.
Yeayea, man won't admit it, but this I'm really sure that even the tough one can shed a tear as well. LOL.

Say you don't cry because you can keep your eyes dry.

You might deceive others, but you can't deceive your heart, man. Haha.

Yes, you cry. You cry INSIDE. That's worse. LOL.

Anyway, the degree of pain relating to this farewell, of course, still depends on the depth of your feeling.

But why it is harder than the first case?

Well, in my opinion : insecurity.

According to Miriam Webster's dictionary, insecurity is defined as

1: not confident or sure : uncertain insecure of his reception

2: not adequately guarded or sustained : unsafe

3: not firmly fastened or fixed : shaky
4a : not highly stable or well-adjusted

b : deficient in assurance : beset by fear and anxiety

When you parted with that hmm particular one, you know that you're facing uncertainties.

Will the relationship weakened as the time goes by?

Will everything change and you will be.. insignificant?

When the possibility of uncertainties are creeping in, then you will feel unsafe.

You're starting to ask yourself whether you are.. replaceable.

Yes, it feels 'shaky' when the insecurities set in.

It's like hanging on a thread that you're not even sure strong enough to hold on to.

But you keep hold on anyway, because the alternative is letting go and the free fall ahead won't be an easy one.

But friends, just because it's not easy, doesn't mean it's bad, right?

Aren't all the worthiest thing comes with a sacrifice?

Just saying, that  

To everything there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven:

A time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to pluck up what is planted

A time to kill and a time to heal, a time to break down and a time to build up,

A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,

A time to cast away stones and a time to gather stones together, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

A time to get and a time to lose, a time to keep and a time to cast away,

A time to rend and a time to sew, a time to keep silence and a time to speak,

A time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Amplified Bible (AMP)