At the End of My Faith

“At the end of your resources, you’ll find Mine.”

The Lord spoke to me gently when I had to withdraw from my emergency fund savings.

It was earlier this year. But I realized this journey begins much earlier in my life.

I was an accountant and I’m really good at juggling numbers. Making them even. Balanced.

But when it comes to managing my own finance, I failed. Big times.

It’s either I splurged, and of course I justified myself : Hey, you earned this. Celebrate yourself!

I mean, of course, if you turned towards the culture, you would find voices that agrees with your dysfunctions LOL. But deep down, I knew it’s not right.

On the other hand, when my savings dwindled under a certain level that I wanted to maintain, I would turn to another extreme, I became so.. Ungenerous. Stingy. I would be so calculative, not just to people, but to myself, too.

So 2 years ago, God showed me the root cause of this struggle : “Ke, all of your life, you’ve seen your early father did not cover you in this area. So when it comes to our relationship, you’ve easily surrendered everything, but not this area. You think you can’t count on Me as your perfect Father who provides, so you fend for yourself. Of course your own wisdom fails you.” BOOM. And that was the moment where I started to surrender my finance to Him. “Not my ways, but Yours.”

Fast forward to BSSM2 journey.

One of the thing (from so so many) that blew my mind was that the amount of financial testimonies around me. Not those that happened thousand years ago and then preserved and retold. No. Fresh ones. Like literally, daily! I’ve heard healing and deliverance testimonies everywhere but these ones, these, are something new to me! At first I was skeptical, I mean, come one, finding a stack of hundred dollar bills under a bush. Or given cars for free by strangers, no string attached. Or tax returned that paid of current outstanding bills. Like. BOOM! MINDBLOWN. But of course, now I know that this is God highlighting things and testimonies to me. HAHA YOU CHEEKY ONE!

Seeing and hearing countless miracles daily, something sparked in me. So I prayed a dangerous prayer:

“God. I wanna have financial history with You, too.”

I know that one day I’m going to need the kind of faith that will sustain not only me, but also my future family. Might as well learning now while I’m pretty much single, right?? 

That was last year. End of 2021.

On January 2022, I was informed that my investment fund was frozen. The management is under scrutiny and the government is currently investigating the whole platform. So. Not my entire savings, but a big chunk of it. I remembered my immediate thought. “Had I known this will happen, I would withdraw ALL of my fund and not just a sum to cover for a few months expenses.”

And God said,

“So.. You asked for a financial history with Me, right? This is it.”

HAHAHAHA. God. I love You but sometimes.. 

I mean, I thought this is going to happen when my savings was all gone or something. But hey, surpriseeeee (for me, not God).

Looking back, I can see that God is a genius and so kind at the same time. Because being in Redding, surrounded by many broke BSSM students, actually the best place for me to learn financial history with God 101.

So.. It’s just. I love that I was not the only one who experienced this. With a friend of mine in the same boat, I could see the beautiful contrast of how God redirected our steps. Every person went through the same situation differently, because what we needed to learn was so different. When God asked my friend to fund raise and do something, God asked me to be still.

BE STILL.

After a while, I came back to God and said, “Are you sure You don’t want me to do something? Anything? Like cleaning houses, or cook, or post something. Anything?”

“Well, Ke. You can do anything you want. But I want you to know that I’m the God who provides.”

I know that He meant. I have the permission to do ALL KINDS of things. But of course, the point is seeing God as a my sole provider. I know that when I started to hustle, I would claim that HEY, yea, You did provide. But that’s just because I worked.

So. Be still.

One day I remembered that I have bags at home. So I asked my sister to consign them for me.

It’s crazy that every time I need groceries, there’s always a bag sold. Wow God.

I think the most life changing experienced was when I only have around $26 in my bank account and my lovely housemate asked me if I wanted to accompany her to SF. I was like, sorry girl, not in my budget.

But then she said, “Kezia, please ask the Holy Spirit. Because this trip is His gift for me and I specifically asked Him to give this trip to me and my housemates.”

So I came to my Father and half-heartedly I asked the Lord, “So.. Trip or no trip?”

To my surprise, He said, “Kezia, I want you to have fun. I’m going to provide for you.”

I was like. Err. Ok. Only because You said so.

Back then, I would be so offended with the idea of having fun when my bank account suffers that way. Like. HOW CAN I NOT BE FEARFUL? Fund supposed to back up the fun right?? (Pun intended)

But because God said He wanted me to have fun, I went for the trip and it’s indeed a fun one for us all. I realized that I didn’t have the urge to splurge but I also didn’t have the fear of not having enough that used to be my go to extremes last time. I didn’t hold back from having snacks and more snacks HAHA. I realized that THIS is how it feels like when a child is having fun with her father. When the father asked her to go to amusement park, the child can just points to churros and the father will pay for the churros. No question asked. This is the purest sense of fun. Childlike.

When it comes to pay for gas and miscellaneous, I told God, “Ok. So. When I paid for this, I’d only have a few bucks left.” And YOU KNOW WHAT. The next second, my sister texted me. A bag was sold.

HAHAHA LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I realized now that on that day, He redeemed my childhood, restoring my definition of “fun” and revealing the trust that I already have inside of me from knowing His faithfulness. Wow. God!

A friend asked me recently how I felt when I have to sell my bags.

I told her that it was not hard at all. BECAUSE (again, cheeky Papa) I was asked twice to honor 2 persons with my belongings in 2 separate occasions. And the stuffs He asked me to give were a backpack and a watch, both are farewell gifts from the people that I loved in the past seasons. I STRUGGLED SO MUCH to say yes to God. I didn’t know that I have so much emotional attachment with these things. So in comparison, letting go of my bags at home (that I don’t even utilize anymore in the past 2-3 years) was a piece of cake. 

So many other beautiful details about the “answered-prayer-slash-frozen-investment” journey. It’s just, when you know that the money for your investment came from the Lord, and He’s the One who allowed all this stuff to happen FOR YOUR GOOD, you’ll have the utmost confident that He will cover all of your needs according to His goodness and richness. There’s no urge to “fight” for your right, because you know God has already defended you. Simply put : God won’t let you drown in your process of learning to swim. Hey, God’s will, God’s bill.

Fast forward to weeks nearing to the end of BSSM2. While all other students were rushing to get their applications done and people are busy introducing themselves to mentors, I was in a dilemma :

Should I even contemplating 3rd year? I meant it makes so much sense to go home and start working.

But God interrupted my train of thought, “Well, if you don’t apply. You’d certainly be in Jakarta. But if you did apply, well, who knows?” He’s being cheeky. But I agreed. I told God, “I don’t want to not apply simply because it made sense or because I’m scared of being rejected.” 

But then there’s another dilemma. Who should I apply to? I’m surrounded by great leaders, yet there’s no I want to intern with in particular. God simply didn’t highlight anyone to me so far. “Should I start introducing myself to mentors like other students God? I mean, if they don’t even know who I am, they won’t accept my application right?” My FOMO kicked in HAHA.

“Kez. Stay true to who you are. You know who you are.” 

I got it. I don’t feel good introducing myself just because I want him to be my leaders. I just feel it’s manipulative. I highly value real relationship where I know it’s God bringing me to people. Knowing it’s a divine appointment is my core value. Maybe it’s something that is normal for others, but I know my heart and I know who I am. So I stay true to myself, which means, not doing anything in this moment while hundreds of students were busy with interviews and 3rd year stuff.

One day He asked me to open the mentor directory and I found myself scrolling down to hundreds of people. But I narrowed it down to first year mentors, because I felt I would love to be in 1st year environment considering there will be a lot of pastoring involved. My eyes spotted a name and when I open Mr L’s profile, I started to tear up. I could feel the Father’s love behind every words and paragraphs.

So I dared myself to apply to him.

A few week passed and I didn’t hear any reply from Mr L. Tbh I don’t put too much expectations in this because I mean, come on, we never met in person, and I bet he sort through tons of applications from students who’s been mentored by him personally. So I continue to pack by stuff, getting ready for a new season in Jakarta. I mean, doesn’t matter where I am, as long as it’s God-venture, I want in.

But to my surprise, literally a week before my departure date, I got an email from Mr L’s current third year student, asking me for an interview. Wow. So unexpected. So we set a date and time somewhere on the following Friday.

The interview itself was a gift for me. I felt so safe to be myself, I didn’t try to impress or “advertise” myself. I felt so loved and I was so grateful for the chance of talking to Mr L’s and his mentee. At the end of my interview, he prophesied to me that I carried joy. Not just a normal one, but a fierce kind of joy that is a weapon to shatter the enemy. He gave me one last hug and I said goodbye. I was SO SO GRATEFUL. I could see the fruit of my BSSM2 journey: that freedom to be so authentically me, not dressing to impress.

I told the Lord that I’m so so ready for a “YES” or a “NO”. I know I was perfectly held in the Father’s arms, safe and sound. So when I receive a reply a few days later, I was shocked.

It’s not a yes, but a weird no, too. More like a.. redirection.

I know instantly that this is the Lord!!!! I mean. Come on! 

So I emailed both of them. I told Mrs L that I’d love to explore the option of interning with her, but I’m leaving for Jakarta the next day. She replied to me in 30 mins and we set an appointment to have a chat before I left Redding literally a few hours after I emailed her.

We had a good chat. I was challenged because I felt that I’m so out of my depth right now. But I’m sure that it’s the Lord because I asked Him to bring me to the a place that He knows I’m going to enjoy and grow me the most. I mean, He knows me better than myself and He’s already in the future, right?

Mrs L asked me to pray and she, too, would ask the Lord if I’m meant to be mentored by her. I went home the next day and I mostly slept on the plane. Really. I had good sleeps at moving vehicles HAHA. And the next day after I arrived home safely, I received an email from her.

It was 2 AM in the morning. I was alone, mom and Febe were asleep. I read her replied and I told God,

“I know this is You. And just because it’s You, I wanna say yes. But God.. How should I pay for it?”

Instantly I heard Him,

“Ke.. I’m a good Papa. Do you think I’ll let you step out of that boat and then I let you drown? I’m going to provide whatever you need in your journey.”

As if sensing my doubt, He added, 

“After all, it’s not just for you, Ke. Your family needs to see Me as a Father who provides miraculously, too!”

Well, when He put it like that.. Of course I want my family to experience what I will. So I said yes to God.

I emailed Mrs L, explaining to her my financial situation and what God told me and if she wanted to stand with me and believing with me. So I finally applied to her formally.

The journey begins. Finally accepted as a BSSM3 student, I was not sure what to do first. I know that the next in line is visa application. But before that, I have to pay for my SEVIS which validate my student number and I have to do that prior to visa process. It felt like a baby step, but I said yes in my heart.

A few hours after that little yes, I received a notification in my email that a donation was made towards my school tuition. Mrs L donated to me. Twice! I was MINDBLOWN. She then told me that she wanted to put her finance behind me as a sign to God that she has full confidence that God would bring me back to Redding. For me personally, it felt like a kiss from heaven. HE SEES ME! HE SEES MY LITTLE YES!

So I proceed to pay for my SEVIS. So I asked the Lord if I should pay with my credit card.

But I heard the Lord saying, “Ke. Just be a child. When you have the money, pay for it. It’s that simple.”

I was about to argue. I mean. If I didn’t get the money on time, I wouldn’t be able to pay for SEVIS. Hence, my visa date might be delayed blablabla. My mind started to wander and I knew that my self defense mechanism started to rises up against my childlike faith. When it gets complicated, I knew I started to making things work on my own instead of relying on God. So I surrendered and went on to enjoy my day with Muffin my dog.

Later that night, a dear friend of mine texted me and she asked if I’m going to continue the school or if I’m gonna be home for good. I told her my story and the next thing I know, she told me that she wanted to partner with me in my journey! Both of her husband and her got the same prompting from the Lord in different timing. HEYY LORD! WOW!!!! So within 24 hours, I got the amount I need to pay for SEVIS and the next thing I know, I filled in visa applications and paid for it, too!!! THIS IS MY PAPA!

When it comes to choosing a visa interview date, I asked the Lord.

“So… When are You gonna give me the finance for the school?”

In my mind, of course I need to have the finance before the interview itself right.

“Hey.. Your part is to choose a date, it’s up to Me when will I provide the rest.”

So I picked a date.

And then I wait.

And waited some more.

It’s been 3 weeks since that day and nothing had happened. No breakthrough, no miracles.

Well, at least nothing that I can see yet.

The interview day came. And I still have the same amount in my bank account and it’s so ridiculously small, it’s so funny. (Yea I have that weird sense of humor. I guess, God has one, too LOL)

I went to the embassy. I showed up. I didn’t print out bank statements, just the bare minimum of documents necessary. My turn for the interview was up and in 5 minutes the interviewer gave me a piece of paper, “Your visa is approved. Have a safe trip.”

I grinned so hard behind my mask. Still couldn’t believe what had just happened. I wanted to shout out loud to the people around me, “HEY PEOPLE! YOU SHOULD SEE MY BANK ACCOUNT! Last time I had this kind of savings was back when I was 12, maybe.” HAHAHAHA.

Right there I understood that God didn’t do anything with my bank account because He wanted to show me that He has power to trump over every governmental decisions. I’d be wherever in the world He wanted me to be, simply because He said so. I’m so glad that I didn’t compromise to manipulate the results with my own strength. A few people came to me and said that I could just ask someone to write a sponsorship letter or I could ask my mom to transfer a certain amount in my bank account as a buffer. But I felt it in my heart that this is not for me. God reminded me in my pondering,

“What is it that matters most, Ke? You’re going to Redding?”

And I realized that for me, the goal is not WHERE I’m going to end up later, but who I’m becoming in the journey.

Now I know that this is ALL God. Purely God!

After the hype of getting the visa subsided, I was in another wait. Almost 2 weeks without anything and I was getting tired. Tired of the wait, of taking steps of faith, of not seeing anything. 

On August 6, we visited papa’s grave. It took us down to this memory lane of what God has done in our family. The exponential breakthrough in our intimacy with God, the acceleration in our adventures with Him. I could only say that it’s my honor to continue on the legacy of faith my father has passed on to us. Behind all of my yes, I have the next generations in mind. My ceiling will be their floor. Like what’s written on Hebrews 12, the great cloud of witness is cheering me up and one day I know I’d be one who cheers the next generations on their journey if faith.

What happened next is beyond my comprehension.

The next day, a friend asked me to meet for a Sunday lunch. She told me that the timing is definitely God’s because she was supposed to go for a business trip overseas but it was postponed. She told me how a few weeks ago, God gave her an idea to partner and support my journey with God. After taking time to pray for details and assurance, God asked her to give me some fund she has been saving for her plans to go to Hillsong AU. But years ago, strangely, she decided to exchange IDR to USD and not AUD. So now she knows why. HAHA. I was in awe of the creativity of God. But what blew my mind the most was when she told me that she wanted to add more to that saving because the ticket from Jakarta to Redding is so expensive. But God specifically told her, “No. I’ll take care of the rest.” For me, this is such an absolute assurance that I’m on the right track. I don’t want just a stack of cash. I want to know for sure that God is absolutely behind that stack of cash. And THIS. I know this is my Father’s doing. Absolutely God.

Ok so. What’s next?? That’s exactly what I’m thinking.

One day a friend texted me, asking me if I was okay. “Am I?” I’m not so sure.

But after replying to her text, I received an email notification that I’ve just received a transfer from another fried in Redding. She felt like God wanted me to have her tithe for the month. WOW. The timing is so uncanny. I know this is my Father. I know He’s in all this.

But the registration day for 3rd year students were getting near and here I am.. Waiting.

I don’t exactly know what I’m waiting for, but definitely a flight ticket. Because when I asked Him what should I do with the amount I received recently, He said, “Ohh. That’s for your daily stuff.”

So. Yea. A flight ticket. And of course I would love it if I could have all 9 months expenses covered before I flew to Redding.

So I packed my 2 luggages and weighed them down. This weekend God’s going to give me a flight ticket. Because I need to be in Redding for registration. 

Or so I thought.

Because all I know is that Saturday came and passed. So does Sunday.

And the day after. And the day after. And nothing has changed.

Out of confusion, I started asking questions. Making assumptions.

Because I don’t hear anything from Him.

“So.. Is this the end of my BSSM3 journey? It’s totally okay Lord. I told You before, right? It’s not about WHAT or WHERE, but it’s OUR adventure no matter how it looks like. Besides, I’d love to be here, I get to be with my family. Just tell me if this is my new season. Also, I’ve seen it for myself that I have the faith that one day will sustain my family in times of need. If the point of this journey is to show me my strength, hey, I’ve seen it God! Just tell me if I should unpack my luggages now.”

…

But I heard nothing from Him.

Well, not exactly nothing. More like.

“Hang on there, Ke.”

That’s all I heard from Him. And suddenly I found myself in the dark.

I can’t see a thing. And I tried to be okay with not hearing a thing.

Until an email from BSSM team about Zoom training was received and I didn’t know how to respond to that. “Is it another step of faith I’ve gotta take? Or should I just ignore it since I haven’t even registered?”

But I was at already at the end of myself. I did not have any more strength to muster an ounce of faith that could get me moving to respond to it.

Right there and then, God revealed something in me.

I realized that behind all those steps of faith, I was moved by fear that if I don’t move, God would not, too.

“Ke.. I’m your perfect Father. I’m perfect in the way I will show my love to you. Nothing you do or NOT do can change My mind about what I’m going to do.”

And then He showed me another one, rooted from the phrase that kept being repeated growing up in church, “Don’t be a stumbling block.”

God revealed to me the thought that put so much pressure on me to strive to believe,

“What if my story became a stumbling block to other people? What if they misunderstood God because of my story?”

“Ke.. It’s not your responsibility to make people SEE, or make them BELIEVE in Me.

I will take your story and it’s definitely up to me to meet them right where they are.

Your journey is between us.”

With that last strand of Messiah complex broke off of me, I was given permission to finally feel what I didn’t want to acknowledged previously. Like a bottle of soda bubbles up and overflow after the cap is finally pried open, one night, during our family prayer night, I found myself wailing and crying and basically screaming my feeling out loud to my mom and sister.

“Why doesn’t He come through??? Why don’t You come through??”

I cried so much my nose are blocked and I have to sit up right. Yea that bad.

In the midst of my tantrum, I saw a picture of me walking on the seabed. I had the helmet attached with the oxygen hose that supposedly was connected to my boat somewhere up there.

I heard the Lord saying,

“Ke.. I wanna show you My beauty like you’ve never seen before.

But right now, you’re being lowered from the boat. All you can see is darkness, and it’s getting darker by the minute. You feel trapped, your feet can’t step on anything solid yet. But hang on there. Soon you’d be there.”

All of that happened in a second and the next second I heard my sister prayed over us about getting in deeper water and breathing under water. I wanted to laugh because it’s so God, but I couldn’t because my nose was badly congested HAHA.

But I was still mad. My heart is still in SO MUCH pain.

The next day I had a tough conversation with my sister. She said she felt like I’m detaching myself and unlike my usual self, she felt that I didn’t let her in to my process. I told her that I don’t trust myself to share to anyone because I know whatever I’m going to say will come out from the place of pain and the last thing I want is to hurt anyone with my words. I told her that I don’t even know where I am right now. I don’t even know WHO I am anymore. I felt like my journey was about being stripped of off what used to define me, and my faith is all I’ve got left. Now it seems like I don’t even have it anymore. 

“I followed Him and now when I needed Him the most, I felt He turned His back on Me. I told Him, if You want to, just come and rescue me. Because honestly, I don’t have it in me anymore.”

That’s what I said to my sister. I was so deep in the dark I don’t care about anything anymore. 

Maybe this is what faith-crises felt like.

You know the craziest thing is?

Even though my heart was in a very bad shape, I still heard the Lord speaking to me.

One day He asked me to take a piece of paper to list down what He thinks about me in that moment.

I told Him, “Why should I do that? I know that You only have good thoughts about me even when I am like this.” And I went on to ignore Him. HAHAHAH KEZIA!

I told my sister about this and she’s like, “But I don’t understand how can you talk to someone but stay mad at Him at the same time?”

Girl. That’s above my pay grade honestly. Because I heard Him and no single doubt that it’s Him talking to me. I remember bible verses, too. But all of those words just stuck in my head. I understand intellectually that God is good and He’s got something huge for me, but my heart was totally disconnected from all kinds of truth.

I knew that only God can rescue me from this pit.

But after talking to my sister, I half-heartedly asked Him,

“What’s on Your mind about me right now?”

Right away I saw a newborn baby laid on a scale. She was naked, vulnerable. She was angry, she let out a loud cry. She felt that the surface she laid on was cold and hard and totally uncomfortable. And somehow I know that that baby was me. 

“What does this mean?”

I heard God’s saying, “I want you to know your weight.”

I was too tired and too disinterested to ask further questions.

All of these encounters but my heart is still pretty much harden and in pain.

A friend called me from Redding and tbh I just wanted to hide and stay in isolation, not trusting my emotion to be heard by anyone else. But she insisted (which I’m so grateful for right now). So we talked.

And of course I spilled them out. As I told my story, I couldn’t help but cry.

The sense of betrayal. My Father failed me. I felt like instead of rewriting my story, He showed me that He’s just like my father on earth : when it comes to fulfilling promises, He bailed.

I felt so lost, so disconnected.. So alone.

My dear friend cried with me. She felt my pain. And when I get to the story about the naked baby me, she asked me to ask the Holy Spirit, what does the scale mean and if I can see where’s the Father in the room.

I mean, I know that my Father is in the room. Who in their right mind put a newborn baby and left her alone in an empty room. The baby me actually KNOWS that my Father is around,  but I couldn’t get why He didn’t hold me or comfort me. Instead, He put me on a scale and all I felt is the cold and hard surface.

But in that moment, as if watching a movie, I could see that the Father was standing nearby. He turned His back on me but He was preparing a bottle of milk and warm water in a bassinet. He’s about to give me food and a bath. But I just wanted Him to pick me up. I don’t like the scale just like I don’t like the situation where I am in right now.

Suddenly I heard a gentle voice saying to me,

“Ke.. You’re that baby. You thought you need to hide behind the blanket of faith. But the naked you, the vulnerable you, the most exposed and tender you, are okay. YOU are OKAY.”

And in a split second, something shifted in my heart.

I realized the truth that was spoken to me..

I AM OKAY.

 

He continued,

“This is YOU on the day I’ve created YOU. Perfect and blameless. This is your weight.”

I laughed and cried. A good one, this time.

My heart understood what He’s saying to me.

Growing up in a Christian household, I always heard the same phrase repeated over and over again,

“Hold on to your faith” because without faith it’s impossible to please God.

And all of these years I’ve put on a false identity : Kezia with the gift of faith.

But God brought me this far to show me that faith is not like a piece of blanket that covers you but the moment you chose to gave it away, you’d lost it. Faith is like a river, the ebb and flow, the refilling.

All this time I’ve been trying to hold on to something that I could not. Faith is all around me, overflowing from within me, enveloping me, surrounding me. Faith comes from my Father who dwells in me.

And I don’t have to strive to have it. It’s given. Fresh ones. New ones. And I will never lack of it.

That’s what my Father showed me.. the baby me. Kezia without her ‘add-on faith’, Kezia without the burden of religious duty, is the real Kezia. And she is made in the image of God. Already perfect and beautiful. And weighty. Kezia without anything add on to her has carried the weight of heaven. That’s why He put me on that scale.

“Kezia. You’re okay.”

When I let go of my faith, I found out that He has MORE and it’s already within me. It’s the endless supply of heaven. I am okay.

In a split second, I am found again. The simplicity of His voice is unlike any others.

At the end of my faith, I found His.

I told God that NOW this all worth it. The permission that He gave me to me to just be fully me, the freedom to be naked and vulnerable knowing I’m fully protected, fully seen. Fully loved.

After my last strand of self-protection is being stripped off, I found myself constantly feeling so raw and vulnerable. My heart felt so tender, like baby skin. I become more sensitive towards God’s presence in ways I never felt before. This is all new to me.

I know there’s more to the journey. God reminded me about the powerful leaders I get to sit under and learned from, that their authenticity and the weight of God that they carry comes with a very high price and I kinda understand what He meant by that. I know He’s preparing me for what He has prepared for me. But right now, I don’t have to be anywhere other than where I am right now. I am content.

“You formed my innermost being, shaping my delicate inside and my intricate outside, and wove them all together in my mother’s womb. I thank you, God, for making me so mysteriously complex! Everything you do is marvelously breathtaking. It simply amazes me to think about it! How thoroughly you know me, Lord! You even formed every bone in my body when you created me in the secret place; carefully, skillfully you shaped me from nothing to something. You saw who you created me to be before I became me! Before I’d ever seen the light of day, the number of days you planned for me were already recorded in your book. Every single moment you are thinking of me! How precious and wonderful to consider that you cherish me constantly in your every thought! O God, your desires toward me are more than the grains of sand on every shore! When I awake each morning, you’re still with me.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭139:13-18‬ ‭TPT‬‬