Seven Quality

Last Thursday, my cell group discussing about Seven Quality We Should be Looking in A Partner.

Hmm.. We weren't actually made up the criteria ourselves.

We listened to a recorded preach of one minister from a great church in Singapore.

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I've learned that instead of personality, we should look for character.

I think personality here means some kind of attitude that can be changed easily by merely one's willingness in a relatively short time.

But character comes naturally since the day we born, shaped by how we've brought up by our family and circumstances.

The preacher metaphorically talked about cakes and its icings.

Character is the cake. Personality is the icing on the cake.

Children will naturally attracted by the icing more than the cake itself.

But as one matured, he/she will understand it's the cake that really matters.

So, this is the Seven Quality :)

Happy reading..

1. Committed to personal growth

A relationship consist of two persons.

You would never succeed if you're the only person who tried.

Even the greatest effort will be futile.

Therefore, both partner should understand that it takes two to make it happen.

However, before both of you can work on the relationship, make sure you also committed to your personal growth by hearing and doing God's words.

You'll certainly be tested by problems.

But through every problems, you can see the true quality in your partner.

How he/she reacts towards it? How can he/she handle it?

2. Emotionally open

It's very important to share with your partner, especially feelings :)

One should know how to express feeling.

Can you imagine how your relationship will be if he cannot express his affection to you.

Or worse, he can even say I LOVE YOU.

You should be looking someone with emotional generosity.

One who giving love abundantly, without limitation.

Don't torture yourself by forcing a relationship with someone with emotional dysfunctional.

Those who have a so-called limited supply of love.

A person who emotionally open also willing to be helped and guided through counselling, seminar, etc.

I mean, at some point, we're going to need help from others, rite?

3. Integrity

A person who posses integrity is always walking in the truth.

He'll say what he means, mean what he says.

Integrity is about consistency of character.

A simple example, he would never litter when he thought nobody's looking.

(HA! You got me here. hahahahaha)

Once you know your partner has this quality, you will trust him completely.

And no need a genius to say that trustworthiness is a main key of successful relationship.

Without it, you will positioned yourself in anxiety for the rest of your life, because you know you cannot believe in every word he said.

In the end, you'll loose respect in your partner.

4. Maturity and Responsibility

Yes, maturity doesn't come with age.

You can married a man who's 10 years older than you.

But it doesn't ensure you married to a mature person.

Imagine if you have a relationship with a child.

(I shudder with this thought. HAHA. Not a big fan of infant. Sorry :P )

However, maturity can be measured by the way he respect others around him.

How well he treated his boss, his colleagues, his employee?

A mature person would take care of himself, THEN he can take care of another.

That's why 'don't judge a book by its cover' is not applicable here.

Because a mature person can be seen by his habit and appearance.

How well he takes care of himself?

I mean, mostly it's true that 'messy outside, real mess inside.' LOL

5. Healthy Self Esteem

A man can love you as much as he love himself.

Therefore, the healthier he is, the stronger relationship he'll create.

A person with low self esteem will let himself being stepped on, taken advantage of, and likely to be abused by others.

One example I never imagine caused by low self esteem : PROCRASTINATION.

(omg. is it me???)

Anyway, the preacher said that a man tend to procrastinate if he was too afraid to see the effect of his action.

So to play save, he better do nothing. Hmm.

6. Positive Attitude Towards Life

This kind of person will always see the bad side of everything happen in his life.

He'll tend to blame others for bad things.

Doom and gloom all the time. And can be affected too much by his mood.

A positive people created positive relationship.

Conversely, a negative people created negative relationship.

7. Personal Chemistry

If more than one person can fulfill all six criteria above, the 7th will shrink your list to ONE.

Or no one? hahahaha

Yes, personal chemistry is indeed important.

You both either have it. Or don't.

Personal chemistry doesn't have to come in instance (love at first sight? possible? not possible?)

It can grow gradually when you've known him better.

I think it's better the latter.

Because it means you fall not only for the look.

But also with what's inside him/her :)

Of course, this 'sparkle' can fade away through time.

But if you two were ready to work together, it can be regained..

(of course you must HAVE it in the first place =_=)

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Anyway, nobody's perfect.

I don't think nobody in this world has 100% of every quality.

That's why you must rank them up.

From all the Seven Quality, which one is the most important for you? Which one is the least important?

Which one you think a must-have in your partner?

And which one you can tolerate if he/she lack of the quality?

Everyone has their own preferences.

For me, integrity is the most important quality a man should posses.

Then, I can trust and respect him.

That's what makes me fall in love. And also will sustain the feeling.

A never ending respect.