Out of Nowhere

I'm indifference with the title of this post.

'Out of Nowhere' or 'Blogging with Rage'

I don't think both can capture my message here. Oh well..

Let's go with 'Out of Nowhere' then. Whatever.

Okay, so it happened last night.

In the middle of my beauty sleep.

OUT OT NOWHERE. I dreamed about you.

Argh! I can't elaborate further. All I can say, in my dream, I'm beyond happy.

We're beyond happy. We're perfect.

Then I woke up. Sweaty. With a stab of pain on my chest.

Was it me that stopped breathing?

Or is it my heart ceased beating?

I swear, swear, swear I haven't thought about you for AGES.

(now I sound like a whinny hormonal teen =_=)

Okay, not that long. But still. I haven't heard from you for AGES.

And I really don't care. Really.

I shouldn't be, right?

I can recall countless sleep more than a year ago.

When a night without dreaming about you, or simply without dreaming

is a bless.

Because then I didn't have to cry and pretend I never given a damn about you.

Then I didn't have to face the day thinking 'have you ever dreamed of me?'

I think it's unfair.

But life never was.

How you came and made me a completely different person.

Like a blend of vanilla and cinnamon.

You will never knew where the taste of vanilla ends and the cinnamon begins.

But somehow you find a way. You managed.

With your busy new life and everything.

I think I have coped with mine.

But then, why having this dream evoked unspeakable emotion in me?

You can see an ordinary human being in front of you.

But you'll never see a crack inside.

You might see a smiling person.

But you'll never knew the ruin underneath her skin.

And who's to blame then?

Myself? You? Time? Future? Destiny? ...God?

Maybe it's you?

Seeped through my veins like my own blood.

Whispered through my ears like a poem.

Hummed inside my head like my favorite song.

Is it the time?

For being too fast moving forward.

For not giving us another chance.

For every short 60 seconds in a minute.

Then maybe to myself?

For being able to love deeply, and maybe too deep.

For being able to made a sacrifice that was not mine.

For letting go of the thing I never wanted

but had made me the happiest person on the planet.

But again. What it is in a gift. That some other days can turn out to be a curse.

For a wish that never came true. Who's to blame?

The wisher? The fulfiller? The wish itself?

I'm still in the middle to find the cure.

Sometimes I think I've been over the edge.

I have passed.

But another dream came by.

And I realized I haven't been healed. Completely.

I think it's the process. Of time. And pray. A lot of prays.

Maybe I can cure myself. Or do I need anybody to do it for me?

Maybe one day I'll woke up and smile.

Because years passed and everything's okay.

Maybe one day I'll woke up and smile.

Because I've been sleeping on someone else's arms.

When you're dreaming with a broken heart

The waking up is the hardest part

You roll out of bed and down on your knees

And for a moment you can hardly breathe

Wondering, "Was she really here?

Is she standing in my room?"

No, she's not.

'Cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone

When you're dreaming with a broken heart

The giving up is the hardest part

She takes you in with her crying eyes

Then all at once you have to say goodbye

Wondering, "Could you stay my love?

Will you wake up by my side?"

But she can't

'Cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone

Now do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?

Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?

Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?

Do I have to fall asleep with roses, roses in my hand?

And would you get them if I did?

No you won't ...

'Cause you're gone, gone, gone, gone, gone

When you're dreaming with a broken heart

The waking up is the hardest part