it's not a diary. it's a JOURNAL

Not for a minute Was I forsaken The Lord is in this place The Lord is in this place Come Holy Spirit Dry bones awaken The Lord is in this place The Lord is in this place ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I love how God speaks. So loud. So clear. Unmistakably God. The voice that calm troubled seas. The voice that calm troubled hearts The voice that breaks the silence of isolation. The voice that breaks the walls of human pride. AND THAT HUMAN WAS ME. Oh man! It's been less than 2 months since that day. Since than, A LOT has happened. And looking back to this past few weeks, if someone ask me again (well back then I was too hurt to see, or to proud to admit the obvious), "Kok bisa, Ke? Why did you guys broke up?" Now, I'd say, "Because God loves. He loves me. He loves R." And that, my friend, is enough assurance for me to know that God is...

I didn't get to write a few things that happened and revealed to me on the previous post. Well, maybe so that I could have MORE to write till this point of time. DISCLAIMER : This post has been vetted by a very kind, pretty, and smart cici yang minta namanya disebutkan baru dia mau vet. CICI TINA MUSTIKA. Single? Definitely. Available? Must ask her Father first for her hand. Otherwise, confirm won't make it la ya hahahaha. Ok I asked her to check because I don't want this post to be some kind of post-breakup rant that definitely UNFAEDAH yah. Maklum dulu pernah alay wkwkwkkwwk trust me this blog was from 2010 (or 2009) and earlier posts, they ain't pretty, mate!  OK RIGHT ON. The day after was SUPER BUSY. Went out quite early and reached home close to midnite. Spending whole day with The Channel's friends, watching movie and stuff. I went back home spent. Not only tired, I felt SUPER EMPTY like a big void in my heart. I was like, "...

"So I ask you now. Will you just release me?" Well, how do you respond to such question? "What now God?" I whispered to my Father, the best adviser ever. He said, "I am not done yet. But now, let him go lor." SERIOUSLY THO????? SINCE WHEN GOD SPEAK SINGLISH?? LOR? GOD? Before you read on, a teeny weeny bit of disclaimer here : If what you wanted to see is juicy stories on how a relationship initiated by God could fall apart once and for all, I bet you'd be disappointed. R stories would remain his portion to tell. Besides, how could you come home to your Father, the Father of LOVE, with hands full of slander? Sons and daughters are being recognized through their love, aren't we? So. Here goes. This is my side of the story. This past one month was simply THE DARKEST I've even been through so far. Trumping the affair of mom, and dad's other family, and even Febe's wandering around in the shadow. Trumping not getting any ...

I am now sitting in my cubicle, thinking, it's only less than 4 hours after lunch, yet so many things happened. And none of them are work related lol. Less than 1 hour ago, Ijah sent me a dog related post (as usual hahaha) and I asked her how she's doing these days. Well, we used to meet at least twice a week, during cell group and TLG. And I know, with or without the recent changes, it's been a challenging year for both of us. So when she told me, "Surviving. But not denying that this period is very tough indeed." I FEEL YOU JAH. wkwkwkwkwkwkwkkwkwwkwkw. But let me open this post with gratitude of God's faithfulness. Last Monday, after enjoying too much Song Fa and all those café thingy with me in SG, my mom admitted to hospital. Apparently those headache were not ordinary nausea (masuk ingin. no better English translation here lol). It's dengue. We suspect she was 'bitten' in Indo because there's a dengue case nearby ...