“There’s a boy who trusted that God is able to return something that is lost in his life. The following week, his pet turtle he thought was lost forever crawled out from under a rock!”
“He shared his story to his circle. Another kid had just lost his dorm access card. He didn’t have 300 bucks for replacing the card. So he believed in his heart that if God could return the lost turtle, He could do it again to his lost card! And true enough, someone found the card and returned it to him not long after that!”
“This kid testified to his circle. Another man listen and grasp the revelation, and thought,
“Hey! If God could returned the lost pet turtle, and an access card, I wanted to BELIEVE that He’s able to return my dad to me.” He had never seen his dad since birth. A few days later, a man reached out to him through Facebook message. It was his father, wanting to reconnect.”
That was school 2 days ago. I paused the video because I cried so much when I listened to all these testimonies. God says, “Childlike, Ke. Childlike faith in Me. I love your childlikeness. Just believe.” MYHEART!!!
The testimony snowballed even to the degree of national security stuff, something that was confidential to a nation was recovered and a cyber crime was solved!!
And it all started with a heart that simply BELIEVED that God is able.
When you BELIEVE that God is who He says He is, you’re accessing the inheritance the Father has store for your life : A LIFE OF MIRACLES. This reality stirred so much faith in me. And motivated me to blog my story even more HAHA.
These days, I saw how God takes what I’ve learned from school to be applied directly to the people around me. And it was SO AMAZING. How God brought the right people at the right time, just to receive something from the school that triggers them to move forward, to dig deeper, etc.. I was SUPER ENCOURAGED when someone is encouraged to run after God a little bit more! HAHA!
But yesterday, when I tried to write about their stories, God stopped me halfway.
“Tell your stories, Ke. Yours.”
Well, okay, Father. HAHAHAHA.
Here goes!
I have told this testimonies to a few friends, and somehow this speaks differently to each one of them.
And now I’m releasing this testimony of God’s love to you :)
Last Tuesday, I was in the Kingdom Identity class with Ps Paul Yadao (thank you Reva!). Febe was there, too. One of the topic for the day was about “Broken Father Images.”
Absent, abusive, passive, unfaithful, disconnected, selfish, controlling, critical.
Those are the 8 types.
During the soaking time at the end of the session, I was.. well, caught off guard.
God brought me back to a memory of my childhood.
I was a kid. Around 7? My dad was driving and my mom was next to him.
(Related post :seraphinean.blogspot.com/2020/02/culture-changer-tribute.html)
Something triggered my dad. Angered, he blurted out profanities and started cursing, “CINA etc etc”
Mom and I tried to be as quiet as possible. But in my head, I had this train of thought,
“If my dad cursed this way, that means he’s cursing my mom. And that means, he’s cursing me as well.”
But with my 7 yr old understanding, I knew that something in my father’s heart was broken, that’s why he did what he did.
My second thought was,
“I’m grateful that Febe was not around. If she heard all these, her heart must be broken.”
I asked God, “Why you brought me back to this memory? I thought I’ve forgiven my dad already?”
Normally, if I was reminded of something and I felt a pain in my heart, I knew that God wanted to heal something in me. But this time, it is different. I was totally okay.
The soaking session was over. But I didn’t pursue further HAHAHAHA. Akunya lari2 wkwkwk.
There’s a part of me that is scared if I asked God for more clarity, I would have to face another pain.
And even though I have journeyed so long through this kind of process, I still flinched at the thought of experiencing it once again. HAHAHA LET’S BE REAL, PROCESS FEELS SUCKY MOST OF THE TIME!
The next day was RG day. WOHOOO I LOVE OUR REVIVAL GROUP! I fell in love with my small group and I looked up to my RG leader so much!!!! (...to think that it’s only 11 weeks HAHAHA! Apparently, with this level of vulnerability, relationship just GO DEEP. Wuhhhh!)
Guess what was the topic for the week?
PROCESSING OUR PAIN.
HAAHAHHAHAHA LORDLORDLORD. I can’t escape.
There’s a soaking session where we just listen to the Lord. Asking Him what’s the process we’re going through right now and what’s the next step for us.
Of course I didn’t have to ask much HAHAHAHA.
I simply asked what I didn’t (dare to) ask yesterday.
Ok.. So. What’s in that memory, Father? What do you wanna say exactly?
God brought me back to that backseat.
But this time, I was not alone!
God showed me that in that backseat, when I thought I was alone, God was RIGHT THERE NEXT TO ME. WHAAAT?????
He told me,
“Ke. You always thought that you were alone.
You defended your dad, looking for reasons why he did what he did so that you could love him, because that’s what a daughter does, always finds reasons to love the parents a little bit more.
You defended your sister. That’s your default mode. Protecting her from harm the best you could.
But you thought you were alone, defenseless.”
God showed me that not only He sat beside me, He also reached out and hold my heart together.
“You are not defenseless, Ke. When you’re busy defending your dad and your sister, I was the one who hold your heart together. That’s why you’re not broken.
I can cover your ears from all these painful words. But instead, I chose to cover your heart.
So now you can stand in the gap for those who felt that they are defenseless.
Go and tell them that they are NEVER defenseless. I AM THEIR DEFENDER. Like I am to you!”
He took my cold hands and wrapped them close with His big, warm, hands. I could feel the warmth of His love in hand AND my heart. Maybe this is why I love the phrase “Hand in hand with God” because He literally holds my hands!!!
“You asked me why I brought this memory back to you.
It’s because I wanted to redeem what used to be painful memory and turn it to a memory of My love to you. I am here, with you. Always. Even when you felt you’re alone.”
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OF COURSE I CRIED! HAHAHAHAH the love of the Father overwhelmed me so much!!!
HOW CAN I NOT LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY HEART AND ALL MY LIFE???
I have told this testimonies to a few friends, and somehow this speaks differently to each one of them.
And now I’m releasing this testimony of God’s love to you :)
His love is able to redeem all that painful memories, all of your past mistakes, all of your wounds and the shame that has bound your heart and hinders you from running fully into His embrace.
With His love, He will calm your fear.
Friends, maybe like me in that backseat, you thought you were alone in your room, in your dark places of your thoughts that you feel no one will ever understand even if you tried to explain it.
But the fact is, God’s got you! He’s got your back!
He sees you, He understands your pain, and if you let Him, He wants to come closer to your heart, redeeming everything.
Yes. Your good good Father is right beside you. Holding your heart and your hands even through storms and heartaches.
And like He is to me, He is your defender, too!
You are so so sooooo loved beyond words!!
Will you say YES to His love?
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