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Masalah Jodoh

Helloh!

Ini harusnya gw udah tidur.......
It's been a quite busy month (understatement detected).
We're preparing for Youth Revival Night this coming Saturday.
Feels like yesterday waktu Ko Remon ajakin makan Tim Howan yg ternyata adalah jebakan Batman. Ha ha ha.
Ga lah. I believe He's moving and it's an honor, a privilege to be able to take part in this movement, where He touches and changes lives.
People said "with great power, comes great responsibility".
But I guess with God, it's the other way around.
With great responsibility (that's given by Him), comes great power (an abundance in provision. Whatever you need, He provides).


Gitu deh panjang kalo gw mau share sih macem2.
Mulai dari si Febe yang dibaptis. LIKE FINALLEH. Ntar kita crita2 kapan ya.
The highlight was when Febe just stepped out from the water. She hugged me.
(I've bathed and dandan and catokan already. But then.. When your newly baptized sister hugged you, what else could you do other than to hug her tighter).
Yes. She hugged me and cried.
I heard God whispered "I had promised you. And here she is. And here you are. The best is yet to come".
There and then I know that one chapter was beautifully ended, means another one is ongoing!
Well. I really don't know what's that. I'm just.. EXCITED!
Kalo kata si Febe "jodoh tuh kak.. jodoh" Hahahahahahhaa. Ya gw ga nolak.
Aminin aja dulu hahahaha.
Cuman gw yakin sama provision Tuhan. Whatever it is. (Whoever? lol)

Okeh jadi gini, sekalian aja since kita lagi ngomongin jodoh.
(Padahal gw yg ngomong loh barusan).
Karena 70% or more dari birthday wish gw adalah jodoh, jadi sekalian aja dah.

Just now on my way home, sambil dengerin lagu di bawah ini (klik dlu biar bisa menyelami cerita gw)



Udah click? Ok good.

On my way jalan kaki home, gw nengok ke langit2 dan there's this beautiful full moon untainted by haze. At the same time, the lyrics was "I'm desperate for Your presence. Longing to be with You. Lead me to a new place. More of You"
It's like the song perfectly captured my heart desire!!!
It's like HE KNEW exactly what inside this heart!! And it's like a confirmation that whatever happen next, "more of HIM" is exactly what I'm gonna get!

If you ask me what I want. Like. What I really want?
A new job? A raise? Jodoh?
What I really want is to do whatever He asks me to do!
Yes. I'm in love. I'm in love with Jesus.

Oke lah I also want to get married someday. One day. Gw kan masih manusia.
And I want Gide to be my flower boy hahahahhhaha.

Kemarin ini gw sempet ngobrol2 sama seorang ciwiks. She told me how she can't get it.
She can't get how some of us girls can just believe that one day God will send us someone, somehow.
Even when our eyes see those who comes to TLG are getting younger and younger (#FACT).
In her opinion, we should go out there. Get to know other good guys from other churches.

Well. I can get why she can't get it.

For me, I believe that the best love story was written by God Himself.
Ruth, for example? My favorite. Lagi nyari cemilan gandum, eh ketemu jodoh. Sesuatu banget ga sih.
I mean, kalo jalan hidup gw dari berantakan acak kadul bisa dbkin indah sampe sekarang, ya why not just trusting my love story to Him as well?
And I really believe that He is guiding us and leading us so all stories can be beautifully and skilfully crafted by Him. One of His way of guiding us is by calling us to different directions of life, such as 'nudging' my friend out of her comfort zone, meeting new persons from new places. But some others are called to faithfully serve in one community (ya ini gw sih) and there's this conviction that God will provide someday, somehow.
No matter what kind of 'calling' you have, I really believe that when you faithfully follow Him, there you would find that everything falls into place, beautifully, in its time :)


One more thing, to address some of your "suggestion" wkwkwkwkwkwkw.
I know I know you guys mean it well. And I know you all love me so much and you wanna see me beranak cucu.
But no, I'm not going to make "the first move" or whatever similar bahahah.

OK BUKANNYA GW ANTI EMANSIPASI. Hear me out okay wkwkwkwk.

I really believe in the role of husband and wife in a marriage, where husbands lead and wives follow.
Not even suggesting that wives have less 'power'. (ini bisa panjang kalo  mau ditulisin)
Simply put, I saw lots of marriages break apart, kids are confused.
When the role is somewhat reversed, where wives lead and husbands not-so, there'd be lots of 'confusion' (understatement).

Back then I used to hate this verse 
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord (Eph 5:22)
BUKAN GW BANGET! Maybe it's my childhood background or bawaan lahir ga tau deh.
But I always find it hard to submit yourselves to ANYONE.
Coba dipikir, sama Tuhan yang perfect and never make a single mistake aja susah..
Apalagi submit yourselves to another human being who is also as imperfect as you are!
Back then if you asked me my "criteria", I would say "smarter, taller, brighter" because I want myself to be able to look up to this person. So maybe (just maybe) I could submit myself to him.
But again. Nobody's perfect. And as I fall in love with Jesus even more, I realized that the only love that could never let you down is HIS!
So the only way that I could HUMBLY submit myself to a person other than the perfect God is to be assured, ASSURED, by God Himself, that THIS (whoever it is), THIS is the one.
This is the one that I want you, Kezia, to follow for the rest of my life.
Phewwww!
And when He assures me, I will. I will humbly and willingly submit myself because that means I'm humbly and willingly submit myself to God :) How beautiful is that.

Oh belom sampe bagian first-move yak? Wkwkw.
For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. (Eph 5:23)
As I mentioned before, when I follow him, means I'm following God.
In the beginning, it's not the church that's initiating to Christ. It is HE, who initiates.
Yaudah gitu aja sih simple hahaha.
At least, this is one of the conviction given by Him quite some times ago.
That he would be the one initiating, as Jesus reached out to His church first. Bahaha berat...

If you ask me. WALAW SO IDEALISTIC SIAH!
Ya well.. People was given free will. You CAN choose!
But I know that He loves me :) and that's enough assurance that whatever/whoever/however/whenever it will be beautiful.

Thank you God, that you've created each and everyone of us beautifully.
Yes! We are fearfully and wonderfully made!
Thank you that I don't have to be somebody else to be loved. Because you have loved me first even when no one does. You have loved me first, even when I don't know that you're there, loving me.
Thank you for loving me the way I am, God! All the haha-hihi, all the heboh, trough the facade to the insecurities inside, your love has turned my life upside down!
Thank you for Your assurance that I am worth all the blood shed on that cross!

Well. Idk how many times I wrote "beautiful". hahaha. Maybe I'm too awestruck with His love for me.
He is beautiful in my life :)
I'm in love!




XOXOXOXO
Keke

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