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Finding Locksmith

Yellow!
It's 2 o'clock AM. LOL.
Just arrived home from watching movie with beloved The Royals.
It's been one busy week.
And my sister is here! Yay!

Anyway.

Today something super awesome happened during TLG.
There's always a first time for everything.
And this was my first time.
Hard to explain in words. But the presence of God was super strong.
To the extend that I couldn't even sing. I only cried, and cried.
And not the cute teary eyes some more. LOL.
My hands were shaking. My knees felt like jellies or something. LOL.
I tried to stand still, but I couldn't.
I tried to compose myself. Failed. Big time.
So I just kneel right there and then.
Wet face. Red, runny nose. Trembling like a leaf.

If you ask me, what I had in mind or what did I feel?
Did I regret about something?
Did I cry over something?
Anything at all.
Well. To be honest. I didn't think much of anything.
I didn't feel overwhelmed or something.
But still. THAT happened.

The answer came later.

Yesterday, during cell group meeting, we're talking about the year of open doors for miracles.
Specifically, about the key to open those closed ones.
Ko Remon jokingly asked me about my heart. 
As in : how about the key to my heart? Is it now locked?
LOL. Yes. Lameeeee!

Talking about locked doors, haven't I tell you that last week there's this incident.
I was locked inside my house. Alone.
Left the gate key inside my room, which I have locked.
And the room key?
Locked inside the room itself.
...
Genius.
Right.
I tried picking the lock.
Tried bobby pins. Tried cards. Tried q-tip.
I wonder how those YouTubers make it looks so easy. Anyways...
Luckily, Elsa (unlike the rest of the housemates) hasn't fly back to Indo.
Not just yet.
Well, I tried calling locksmith.
But then the locksmith said that he needs to break the front gate lock entirely.
Oh well. Elsa it is. LOL.

Back to the lame question lol.

I jokingly answer that YES, IT IS LOCKED.
And not only locked. It is chained with the strongest metal.
Like some kind of safety deposit box.
Complete with the invisible infra red lines where you need to 'dance' yourself to avoid them.
Oh. Don't forget the 4 guard dogs.
Yep. Those fierce-looking German shepherds.
LOLOL.

If you're wondering what this locksmith thingy got to with everything.
Here goes.

Yesterday I have this talked of scenarios with a friend of mine.
She asked me 'what if'' question about relationships.

What if there's this man. He went to Church every Sunday. But, that's it. Sundays.
What if there's this man. But he's in relationships which is 'complicated'.
What if there's this man. But he's your best friend ex's.

Well, maybe I'd tell you what's my answer on the next post. LOL.

What I'd like to emphasize is that those questions got me thinking.
That life is about God's amazing grace. But it also about the choices we've made.
For example.
We can't choose with whom we're falling in love with.
But we can choose whom we're going to be married to.

... *contemplating myself*

The thing is, sometimes, well, mostly, our heart rules.
Especially for girls.
Well, it's true.
Just think about how many times we heard 'love conquers all'.
But honestly.
What kind of love can last forever?
How many times we find people falling out of love. Marriage ends.
Worst. When there are kids involved.
And no. The answers to all THAT issue is not 'stay single forever' or 'no kids allowed'.
 
I'm the kind that do everything wholeheartedly.
I sleep wholeheartedly.
I eat wholeheartedly. LOL.
I love wholeheartedly.

I was reminded that when I say my heart was 'locked', it is not done myself.
Ok lah. Maybe I'm the one who put the padlock over there. LOL.
But above all, God is the one who put those extra safe security system altogether.
Not to keep myself from loving people, but to keep myself away from falling in love with a wrong person.
But again.
When I say that life is all about choice, it is applied here.
Because I'm the one who choose to let God keep my heart secure from relationships that was not meant to be.
I am amazed because so great His love for me, that as a Father, He doesn't want to see me put my heart on the line for something, well, someone, that is not for me.

That song I sang previously reminded me that all my delight is in Him.
That all of my hope and all of my strength is in Him alone.
No one can take away the hope because the Hope itself will never let me go.
And as long as I live, I know that I shall not lack any kind of love, and I shall not look for love in all the wrong places.
For I am loved, deeply and eternally.

My name is Kezia. I'm 24 (well, 25 this year).
I got a heart that is locked.
No locksmith can open the lock, unless my Father gave it to that one particular locksmith meant for me.

LOLOL.
Okay that sounds silly.
But true.



Ok lah.
My locked heart and I need some sleep.


Good night, beloved! :P

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