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Curhat #1 (Latihan Baca Signal)

Yellow hello :)

I'm safely tucked under the duvet.
But before I go to sleep, there's a thing or two I've gotta write.

Yesterday was a different kind of Sunday.
After an impromptu movie date with a friend, we split up and I went around this mall alone.
I saw a dress (surprise, surprise) and I was reminded that I need (well, want hahaha) a new dress for Christmas dinner with the ladies.
So off I tried it on and went "Well well.. Not bad. Not too shabby my friend. Hmmhmm. Should I?"

Out of the blue, He spoke.
"Do you think I can't give you something better than.. That."

Jleb! Bulls-eye.

I went out from the shop without carrying any shopping bag.

____________________________________________

Gila deh, udah sekitar 2 mingguan ini there's one thing that's been kept on repeat over and over again.

"KEZIA. WAIT."

But.. Wait for what, God? I don't have a clue.
I mean, I know there's something big coming my way, but I don't know what or how or when.
Dan seperti layaknya manusia pada umumnya, gw ga sabaran dan kepo.
Ya iya lah! Ini semacam teaser movie 2014 tapi tulisannya : COMING SOON in MAY 20xx.
Lah ga tau berapa taun lagi -____-


Jadi ceritanya mulai dari doa jam 4 bbrp minggu lalu, renungan, kejadian di sekitar gw, renungan lagi, discussion sm mama and Febe, duh ga tau dah berapa banyak, yg gw dapetin selalu tentang hal ini. Wait. Wait. Wait.
Awalnya masih rada blur blur waktu gw denger dua kali tiga kali.
Tapi kalo udah sekian banyak di repeat dan gw masih ga ngeh sih keterlaluan dah gw.
Puncaknya itu Sabtu kemaren pas TLG.
Si pastornya said something like :

"Apa yang menyebabkan manusia sering masuk ke dalam kesulitan? Salah satunya ya karena ga pernah include Tuhan dalam setiap rencana. Langsung jalan aja. GA MENUNGGU SIGNALNYA TUHAN"

Jleb! Jleb!

Kata Febe gw itu sama kaya mama. Sama2 bodoh dalam membaca signal.
Errrrr.
Kata Febe we both ignorant banget sampe bkin orang2 kaya si Febe itu gregetan kesel.
Lah.. Dia yg kesel hahahahaha.
Jadi katanya sih ya, dahulu kala, si Papa tuh sering jemput2 mama latihan koor padahal si Mama bendahara gereja. Modus lah biasa lelaki.
Tapi si Mama could not see that this guy got motive. (Febe emosi di sini hahahha)
Menurut gw sih, si Mama paling mikir butuh orang buat nyanyi pake banget nih, sampe jemput2 orang ga bs nyanyi haha. Tapi teryata demen. (Kata si Febe sih obvious. Kata gw.. Ga juga..)
Then one day, out of nowhere si Papa bilang 'Li, aku main ke rumah kmu ya mau ketemu papa mama'.
I must admit si Papa sih ballsy banget loh. Hahaha.
Well, the rest is history. Jadilah gw. Dan Febe. Haha!

Anyway, gw jadi sidetracked.
Gw sama lah kaya si Mama.
Duh gausah lah pke signal signal rempong, langsung ngomong kan bisa?
Itu sih mau gw.
Tapi kayanya.. Tuhan mau gw belajar nunggu signal.
I MEAN SIGNALNYA TUHAN YE.

There's a lot of question mark dancing around in my head.
I cannot understand, I cannot see His plan.
But I trust His heart.

I don't know what should I wait for.
But I will wait ON Him.

The thing about Him is, He never let us go empty-handed.
He also reminded me to stay faithful in every single thing that I am entrusted with, to enjoy the beauty of His love in everything that I do on daily basis. This!
Knowing that every little things, even the simplest thing that I do FOR HIM would be a multitude of blessings for others, in ways that I never imagine!

Contohnya kemarin wkt gw balik Indo cuman 3 hari just to have a short meet-up with the old gang.
Entah gimana, gw lagi nunggu dijemput sama J and L, bisa tau2 gw share tentang si Febe ke J.
Dan ternyata L opened up that she's been depressed for quite sometimes.
She kept things to herself because she did not want to burdened her parents by speaking her thought out loud.
J and I gave her lots of encouragement. Ends with L admits that there's something missing in her life.
And that actually she needs GOD!
I don't know how, gimana Tuhan bisa tempatin gw di tempat dan waktu yang tepat buat temen gw bisa cerita.. It's just.. So.. So GOD. wkkwwkkwwkw. Cuman Dia dah yang bisa.

That's why the one-liner yang bkin gw ga jadi beli dress..

"Do you think I can't give you something better than.. That."

I understand that it's not just about a dress.
It goes deeper to every desires in this heart.

"Do you think God can't give you something better than.. Whatever your heart desires?"

Well. He most definitely can ;)

So here I am, a lady in waiting.
I am waiting on Him.
And if He SIGNAL me, I will move.
But until then, I'd be still in His embrace.


Thank you for patiently reading oceh2an gw haha.
Here's a lullaby because you deserve it!








Good night :)
You are loved.

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