it's not a diary. it's a JOURNAL

Tempted tempted tempted to just fall asleep without writing anything. But HEY here I am hahaha. Today went out to see Blended. It was SUPER entertaining. The whole theater roared in laughter from beginning to the end. But that's.. Just not enough reason to turn on my laptop. Today my devotional talks about 'THE PAST'. How people try to 'forget all that's behind' when actually what God want is to use all the mess that we've made and turned them into something beautiful : encouragement for others who's going to similar struggles. I stumbled across this 1 verse on my devotional. Well actually, 3 verses. 3-5  All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah! Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for...

Yelloww darlings! Today I waved my assistant goodbye ._. But other than that, today was a calm uneventful one. During my quite time today, gw tertempelak. .... Once every now and then from beginning of the year, I asked God this question, 'What else, God?' Not in the sarcastic, cocky way. But more like, 'What else do You want me to do?' 'Because if You say 'go' I will go to wherever You ask me to.' Even the 1st sentence on my devotional has seized my attention up. Have you ever wanted to 'freeze' a moment and make it last a lifetime? And I'm like, WELL YESS! Basically, I was reminded by today devotional how some people (like me), avoid changes. In fact, if I could just choose a moment and live there forever, I would. But then, 'When it comes to change, we have a decision to make. Change is a sign of growth and life and is sometimes needed simply to survive' I think these kind of 'chan...

Yellloww peeps! Monday's over yay! Soon it will be another weekend lol. Today was busy busy but also happy happy. I got to meet the replacement of my assistant (see prev posts lol). Don't know how long these eyes can stay open, so.. Shoot. I was having a chat with a friend of mine. We're talking about daily stuff, and I couldn't remember how but one topic leads to another, we started talking about our ministry. And she told me how she seems to be in 'desert'. Gimana dia ngerasa ilang motivasi dan semangat buat pelayanan. Well, I know exactly how THAT felt. I understood, because I have experienced similar thing. Then I was reminded on a picture I saw on Instagram. Stated there, 'When your life looks blur, re-adjust your focus'. When our days passed by without leaving any impression. When our work or study or even ministry becomes a mere duty. When nothing in our daily live excites us any longer. We might be in ...

Yellow! Awesome weekend! Yesterday I have prepared myself for a loonngg day ahead. There's an additional practice after TLG, so I knew I couldn't join The Royals for dinner. So. It was during the pre-service prayer. As usual, we sing one or two songs, and truth be told, it was.. usual. But then Ko Re prayed and it was exactly as I wrote on 'Day 2'. That most of the times, our limited expectations on His works really put ourselves on limit, so that we couldn't enjoy our time with Him. Because we're expecting THIS or THAT to happen. Like some kind of sign that He is around is we need to 'feel' something. But He IS present. And all we need to do is just appreciate and give thanks for His presence. No matter what we feel or see. Well, terus gw cuman simply doa 'God, I appreciate Your presence here. Beyond all my feelings and expectations, You are as amazing as always' Then. JEBRET! Gw ga bisa describe de...

Haven'g got time to write anything yesterday. Was busy doing.. how chores .__.  Shoot. Ko Remon's given us this topic : Kepekaan. Which is.. what? Sensitivity? And I scratched my head over this one, because I am NOT a very sensitive person (understatement). In fact, gw itu adalah orang yang sangat cuek sekali ._. So I just said, 'God, I am VERY lacking in this department of sensitivity haha' It's true. Dari kecil, Papa told me countless times, jangan terlalu cuek dong jadi orang. Padahal masih bocah loh. Mau cuek sama apa sih? Tapi udah keliatan cueknya omg. Anyway. Yesterday I have submitted the VISA application. Cross my fingerssss. And when I got back to office....... Remember on the previous post I've mentioned one assistant that has been there from the beginning. She told me that she just handed over her resignation letter. BOOM! There goes the bomb lol. And I don't know it is shock or something, but I didn...

Wowow TGIF everybody! Sprinting towards the weekend excitedly lol. Ok langsung aja. Hampir semua orang bilang kerjaan gw enak. Boss gw baek, kantor gw deket banget sm rumah, bisa bangun siang, pulang teng, muka ga pernah kusut, colleagues udah macam temen kuliah. I never had any other permanent job before, so I couldn't really compare. But still I must admit that this office has been my second home. Not in a sarcastic 'ooh, second home, I went home when the sun just rise' kind of way. Definitely not a 'war-zone' as some may called their offices. Tapi yang namanya masalah itu tetepan sih ya. LOL. I may have mentioned earlier that some of my projects come with an assistant to help out on site. Usually those big big one. To have a good, dependable, and competent assistant is like having a little angel helping you. LOL exaggerating much. Tapi beneran deh. I am blessed to have 1 superduper competent assistant that's been helping me ...

Yellow peeps! Today was a busy yet fruitful day. Spent a few hours after office, looking for a perfect give for FA friend. Tricky. Hmm. Ok shoot. Super sleepy and might snore anytime soon. So here we go. A friend of mine just went under a great trial of his life. A few days ago his father went hospitalized and it's really a matter of life and death. Gw ga tau how does it feel karena honestly gw belom pernah ngalamin hal serupa. Tapi gw tau rasanya di posisi ga bisa apa2 dan the only thing we could do maximally is surrendering my beloved one to the Lord. When he shared, gw bener2 ngeliat gimana God never let go nor forsaken His child. Gimana Yesus bener2 jadi sumber harapan buat temen gw dan keluarga, knowing that whatever happen, God is always good all the time. I was reminded gimana dalam kelemahan kita yang paling selemah2nya itulah, kuasa Tuhan supernyata. Mungkin karena waktu kita the weakest, we stop trying to limit God and His capability, Gi...

Well hey! It's an uneventful day. Boss, lady boss and boss assistant are not around today. Borrowing a colleague's term, it's a non-government day lol. But once again that's not what I intended to blog. Udah lah pake indo aja males mikir lol. Anyway. There are 2 points I'd like to share to you (and a reminder to my future-self). First. I was reminded that many times I couldn't really enjoy sitting under God's presence because, well, gw kebanyakan mikir (....again). Gw mikir kalo harusnya gw ngerasa ini, itu, harusnya nangis2, tersentuh, kesetrum, begeter, dll. Gw diingetin sama kotbahnya Pak Harry (Hari? Herry? Hary?) Sabtu kemarin tentang speak in tongue. Lo ngarep dibaptis Roh Kudus itu kaya begini begitu, dan honestly, itu sadar ga sadar semacem ngelimitin cara kerja Tuhan sama kita. Kalo cara Tuhan nyembuhin orang di Alkitab aja beda2, kenapa cara Dia menyatakan Roh Kudusnya itu harus cuman semacem doang? Yaudah intin...

Yellow peeps! Been away for some time.. and it's suddenly June whoa! May's been super! :D I might post some pic from HK-Macau trip with the ladies. But that's not what I'm about to blog. Last week during mentorship, we are challenged to take a further step of faith by fasting and prayer. Honestly, fasting is not something 'natural' for me. I love food a little bit too much lolol. But what makes it harder is this : You may not realize this, but too often our prayer is actually a list of requests read out loud to God. And during this one month, while fasting, we're supposed to ask nothing BUT His presence and to solely focusing on GOD instead of His miracle or His breakthrough or His healing etc etc. To discipline myself, I'll be writing whatever revealed or taught to me during this one whole month. And yes, it's on daily basis. So. This is day 1. I was walking back home. Thinking about this friend of mine. More than ...