it's not a diary. it's a JOURNAL

Hi All, Just wanna share a bit of my 'pondering' on my way home just now. Hmm.. I think long journey can coax out the little philosophical in us. Hahah. Anyway, out of the blue :  I was reminded, that I am precious. Nooo.. I'm not being narcissistic or overly confident here. (Maybe a bit. LOL) I mean, I am precious.. In my Father's eyes. I am stubborn. I easily assumes the worst and unnecessarily worried myself. I sometimes put too much confidence on myself. But in some other times, I could chicken-out on things I consider difficult. I do not really care for people that meant nothing to me. I am judgmental and over-critical.  I am too expressive for my own good. My face shows everything I feel. I have mood swings once in a while. I shop too much. I like to sleep a lot and often wake up very late. I can be very lazy and sometimes my room is a pigsty. LOL. But He who knows all my flaws, my imperfection, my tho...

Heyyylooowww... So.. I can not believe this morning, 5am to be exact, I blog -_- How emo is that?!? Thought I was dreaming or something. I started my day with nightmares :( I was reminded, I mean, WARNED by Nana. But the stubborn-me now was so much like the stubborn-me years ago. I was trying to cling on a rope, that was not made for me. Never made for me. Luckily, today's work is quite okay. Not much to do, which is once in a blue moon. LOL. And thanks to You, Dad, I ended today with a big wide smile on my face. I never thought that giving someone a surprise could bring so much satisfaction and joy for ourselves! It's not a big thing, really. Some balloons, thrown with posters and silly photographs. Combined with one particular song and a simple tunes from a guitar. When those things were done together with love, for the one that we care about, it becomes.. Something. Something big. Touching, even for me whose just helping out to prepar...

Hello World, It's 5am. No, I didn't wake up for all the right reasons. It's this nightmare. I wish just like any other dreams, this one will subside when the daylight comes in. But no, as reality downs, it stays. It's just me. And my stupid little wishful thinking. LOL. While blogging can put me in perspective, it also reveals things. Things that I was inclined to say out loud. But lurking at every page, reflected in every words. Well, I'm not doing that John Meyer's thingy anymore. I'm not going to hold my roses while I'm asleep. No no. No more John, thanks a lot. Hmm.. Maybe to call things off before it happened, like what I did years ago, was not a sign of bravery. Nor wisdom. Maybe it just shows how I'm chicken out before a tough journey even begins. Well, that's some revelations. LOL. But just every rose has its thorns as a self-defence mechanism, that was mine. I mean, to chicken-out. As I am the free-fall kind of p...

Hey All!! It's another long weekend here in SG. Not as long as the one in Indonesia, but better then nothing of course ;) I've been contemplating on things recently. Like, funny how my mind works. Sometimes people ask you things, which you can answer easily and immediately. But then, some other times, when you're in the middle of something.. SNAP! Like a bulb being switched on, you remember all those questions and how you want to answer it differently. For example: why do you blog if not for publishing your thoughts or share some of your stories? If you are not inclined to let people read it, why blog in the first place? That time, I immediately agree that, yes, I blog because I want people to know my opinions on things (not necessarily an important nor useful info. LOL) Well, I don't say it is completely incorrect. I remember why I blog in the first place. That time I was a wreck. Not physically, more the unseen one. Mentally. I was...

The sun is filling up the room and I can hear you dreaming Do you feel the way I do, right now? I wish we would just give up 'Cause the best part is falling, call it anything but love And I will make sure to keep my distance Say "I love you" when you're not listening And how long can we keep this up, up, up? Please don't stand so close to me, I'm having trouble breathing I'm afraid of what you'll see, right now I'll give you everything I am All my broken heartbeats until I know you'll understand And I will make sure to keep my distance Say "I love you" when you're not listening And how long can we keep this up, up, up? And I keep waiting for you to take me You keep waiting to say what we have So I'll make sure to keep my distance Say "I love you" when you're not listening And how long can we keep this up, up, up? Make sure to keep my distance Say "I love you" when you're not listening How ...