it's not a diary. it's a JOURNAL

1. It's always the girl that has to put up with the crying stuff. 2. There's nothing beats mom's hugs when the going gets tough. 3. It's good to have a boy-friend (errr I mean a friend that happens to be a boy. Not.. The other one, okay) that you can trust. You can tell him any kind of things you cannot tell your girl-friends. And when you hurt, somehow this kind of friend would make a joke out of any kind of problem, and I could laugh eventually. In the other hand, talking to girl-friends is tougher sometimes. Especially when everything's still raw and.. difficult. They have this pitying look on their eyes, and I found it's hard NOT to cry harder when they give you this 'I-know-how-it-feels' speeches. 4. The right guy on the wrong time will turn out to be a wrong guy afterall. LOL 5. No matter how many fingers you cross, how many coins you toss in the fountain, how many wishes you make on a star, it it's not meant to be, it won't happen. 6. Hey...

I'm sure you've heard this before 'Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus'. It's actually the title of book written by John Gray in 1992. According to this book, the source of many misunderstanding between the two gender is the difference between their communication style and emotional need. One thing I most agree is that women talks about their problems to find friendly allies, just to be heard. However, men talks to get solution for their problem. As a girl, I often find that men are the most insensitive creature on earth. They just don't have a clue about unspeakable needs of girls. Or maybe they just play dumb? LOL Take my dad as a simple case study. He almost never remember anyone's birth day. He even forgotten my mom's birthday, which I found rather unbelievable since it was on Dec 24. I mean, it's ONE day before CHRISTMAS, Dad! He also forgets mine and my sisters, but we've gotten used to it. So on Christmas night, while having our Christ...

Last night I was too tired to write EVERYTHING here. Funny how I woke up too early in the morning after *sigh Anyway, I couldn't spoil the juicy detail here since it's too personal LOL But I will.. outline it as best as I could ;) So I was on the verge of giving all up 2 days ago.. I think I was just imagining things. Or so did my friend (which is NOT a girl) say.. But yesterday, 'good thing' happened. I was so so happy beyond words. I just couldn't sit still while waiting for my bus. LOL And later at night, something GREATER happened. Sorry I could not elaborate further :( Maybe later :) Cut the story short, I was delirious last night. My housemates were so sweet, they say they were happy happy happy to see me happy. But they also warned me. For I've known that he wouldn't be here forever. They said, I gotta choose. Being extremely happy now and cry later on. Or keep the distance, so that I wouldn't cry as much as I would in the first case. My housemate...

One of my bestfriend (not housemate this time. lol) share this song with me. Never thought that this song could strongly affect my mood. I guess it's because the lyrics was quite.. strong. I love love love the lyrics. I love love love the melody. And I definitely love love love Bruno Mars. MOON doesn't talk back. It doesn't even hear you out, man.. I don't think ppl are THAT stupid, to be talking to the moon???? pfft. silly. Unless... You're in love. And there's nothing more to say.

I was happy that one of my friend said that my blog was quite an inspiration :) I never wrote for 'fame' or to be known. All I wanna do is, well, write something, anything, to express my deepest thought. But if my deepest thought could be useful for others, then maybe I should give seminars or such.. KIDDING. I'm more like a 'behind the scene' person :) Anyway I was rummaging through my earlier posts and found this one.. I'm still in the middle to find the cure. Sometimes I think I've been over the edge. I have passed. But another dream came by. And I realized I haven't been healed. Completely. I think it's the process. Of time. And pray. A lot of prays. Maybe I can cure myself. Or do I need anybody to do it for me? Maybe one day I'll woke up and smile. Because years passed and everything's okay. Maybe one day I'll woke up and smile. Because I've been sleeping on someone else's arms. Ohmy.. I was so emo at that time. Shame on me! ...

Remember my last blog? This one written in totally different mood with the previous. The exactly opposite mood, in fact. LOL There's something happened today. I cannot say PRECISELY what was it, but let's just say, it was A Big Turn Off for me. It had something to do with broken promises. Or an expectation set too high? You choose. The final outcome is still the same. I blogged about this before, but to jog your memory, lemme say this once again. I don't fall for the looks. Neither for other perceivable qualities a girl dream of. I choose integrity over popularity (see how my introverted side affect me) Recently one of my housemate-slash-bestfriend ask me, what does it mean, really.. Integrity? According to Miriam Webster, INTEGRITY means 1 : firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values : INCORRUPTIBILITY 2 : an unimpaired condition : SOUNDNESS 3 : the quality or state of being complete or undivided : COMPLETENESS YES. If I had to choose one quality from...

If you wonder why I blog, here are the reasons : Firstly, it's my way of shouting out loud without being heard. Yes I know it's weird, because normally ppl SHOUT just be HEARD. In my case, I shout just to let go a, let's call it, an excess feeling that so overwhelming it could burst out through my chest anytime soon (like now). I could just SCREAM, but thanks to this big lungs of mine, I could scare my housemates away and wake the baby sleeping in apartment above (if there's any, of course). LOL Secondly, and funnily, it's one essay assignment that always triggers my mood to blog. Maybe it has to do with making a written statement. But I always find words by words flowing from my mind straight to my fingertips like they were no blockage whatsoever. (This time, the blogging era started by a Financial Reporting assignment, which reminds me that I got another essay to right due before Christmas hols. Shucks) Thirdly, I need to be in the state where my heart speak too m...