“God’s reward growth with pruning. More growth.” I stumbled across a worship moment on YouTube and the word spoken by Michael Miller breathe fresh air into my soul. “Pruning seasons are strange. You get disoriented. You think, “What did I do wrong?” Nothing. My shears are the reward of fruitfulness. You’re being positioned for greater fruitfulness.” Sometimes I forgot that the One who wants to see all of His promises fulfilled in my life more than myself is the Promiser Himself. And in the in-between seasons, He’s still the sweetest reward. A few days ago I woke up with a DM on my Instagram. A friend stumbled across my profile, clicked on my blog and she told me she started crying because God revealed many heart issues she’s not even aware of. I am in awe of what God’s doing behind the scene. The last post was, so far, the hardest writing in my life. I wrote it down while it’s still fresh in my heart, the disappointment, the struggle, the embrace. But today, I wrote from a totally diff
“At the end of your resources, you’ll find Mine.” The Lord spoke to me gently when I had to withdraw from my emergency fund savings. It was earlier this year. But I realized this journey begins much earlier in my life. I was an accountant and I’m really good at juggling numbers. Making them even. Balanced. But when it comes to managing my own finance, I failed. Big times. It’s either I splurged, and of course I justified myself : Hey, you earned this. Celebrate yourself! I mean, of course, if you turned towards the culture, you would find voices that agrees with your dysfunctions LOL. But deep down, I knew it’s not right. On the other hand, when my savings dwindled under a certain level that I wanted to maintain, I would turn to another extreme, I became so.. Ungenerous. Stingy. I would be so calculative, not just to people, but to myself, too. So 2 years ago, God showed me the root cause of this struggle : “Ke, all of your life, you’ve seen your early father did not cover you in this